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by Kay Xander Mellish
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- 2 weeks ago9 min
My Awkward First Year in Denmark
One thing no one ever tells you about moving to a new country is the incredible awkwardness of it. As a newcomer, you are constantly doing or saying or planning the wrong thing, something that would be perfectly reasonable in your home culture but is weird or laughable in your new location. Like eating alone in a restaurant. Eating alone is no big deal in Manhattan, where I was coming from, and it's also common in Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong, where I had briefly lived. But not in Denmark. When I arrived in Denmark 25 years ago, I already had a job, as a content creator for a small tech company. What I didn't have was any friends, or any more than a superficial knowledge of Danish language or culture. My new colleagues were very pleasant, but like most Danes over 25, they had already built their social networks and weren't really looking for someone to hang out with after work. So I spent most of my free time alone, living temporarily at a small hotel by Peblinge Sø, where I chatted aimlessly with the receptionist (who believed I was in love with him, I later found out). Then I went out to eat by myself at a local restaurant. Danes generally don't eat alone at restaurants, so after a while I became a familiar figure that the staff called "the hamburger girl" after my standard order. ------- This episode of the "How to Live in Denmark" podcast is the introduction of my new book, The Danish Year, available exclusively for download on Amazon Kindle.
- Mar 30, 20266 min
The Spontaneous Dane: Why Friendship Needs a Calendar
Danes usually don't do spontaneous. They do calendars. This episode looks at why a country that can count 8,000 ballots in three hours still needs two weeks' notice for almost everything else. From perfectly timed buses to highly efficient elections, Denmark's culture of planning keeps society running smoothly. But it can also make it hard for newcomers to connect, whether on a playground, a boat trip, or even just striking up a casual conversation. Except, uniquely, in spring, when the rules loosen, plans get dropped, and Danes embrace the simple joy of a beer by the water. And there is almost always somewhere to have a beer by the water, wherever you are in Denmark. If you're moving to Denmark or trying to build a life or career in Denmark, understanding this balance between structure and spontaneity is key. After all, in Denmark, time is the most valuable currency. It's also the only thing that can't be taxed.
- Feb 15, 20267 min
Danish dinner party customs & why it's OK to break your Royal Copenhagen cup
Some might say that the most Danish piece of furniture is the chair. The Swan Chair, the Egg Chair, the Wishbone chair. They're all international design classics. You can buy a poster with 100 of the top Danish chairs, and if you go to Designmuseum Danmark there is a hall of chairs you can walk through, the display cases stacked three high. Chairs, chairs, everywhere. But I think the most Danish piece of furniture is the table. It is where traditional Danish cuisine is enjoyed, and sitting around the table, and sitting and sitting and sitting there for hours after a long meal, is where hygge reigns and people are included – or excluded, as the case may be. A dinner invitation in Denmark A dinner invitation to someone's home is an honor in Denmark, and people often dress better for it than they might dress for work. Ladies put on a pretty ruffled blouse, men might wear a suit jacket or at least a shirt with buttons. And everyone arrives precisely on time. There's no such thing as fashionably late in Denmark; that's not the Danish dinner party customs. For a dinner party like this, the host or hostess will set an elaborate table. There will be cloth napkins in napkin rings, probably some candles, maybe a few carefully chosen flowers as a centerpiece, not so many that you can't see the person on the other side of the table. And there will be different glasses for different drinks. Water glasses, wine glasses, and often tiny little glasses for toasting with aquavit. Setting a beautiful table is a Danish art form. Bring out the Royal Copenhagen dishes Dinner parties are usually a very good time to bring out the Royal Copenhagen dishes. You can't talk about Danish tables without talking about Royal Copenhagen, that blue and white porcelain first produced in 1775. At the time, porcelain was a real marvel. It's hard to believe now, we're all so used to looking at antique shops full of unwanted dishes and kitchy porcelain figurines, but at the time, porcelain was the stuff of kings. If you think Royal Copenhagen porcelain is just for tourists and ladies of a certain age, think again. It is hugely popular among young people. I work part time in a shop and I sell a lot of Royal Copenhagen porcelain to women in their 20s. Two great business decisions from Royal Copenhagen That's because of two great business decisions. First of all, Royal Copenhagen, which is now owned by a Finnish company, keeps updating its patterns. The hand-painted dishes you buy now are not the hand-painted dishes grandma used to have with their little bitty lacy patterns, although you can still buy those if you want them. But the most popular patterns now are bigger and bolder, still in the same cobalt blue. And you can put them in the dishwasher. Breakage guarantee means you actually use your dishes Secondly, in a strategy that should be studied by marketing students, they have a breakage guarantee. If a piece of your fancy porcelain breaks within two years of purchase, you get a new one for free. This is to encourage people to actually eat off their plates, and use their coffee cups for coffee, instead of stashing them in a glass cupboard where people will look at them and dust them but never use them. If you're Danish
- Jan 22, 20269 min
Danish Movies and TV as a Guide to Danish Culture
Watching Danish movies and TV shows is a great way to survive the long Danish winter—and if you're learning Danish or trying to understand Danish culture, it's even better. Many films are available online for free. Whatever your taste, there are Danish films for it: Danish film noir from the 1940s if you like crime dramas, the classic Olsen Gang comedies if you prefer something lighter, and Danish children's shows that are actually great for adults learning Danish because the language is so simple. Denmark has been making movies since 1897, and Nordisk Film, founded in 1906, is still the world's oldest continuously operating film studio. You've probably seen their logo if you've been to the cinema in Denmark. In this episode, I'll tell you about Danish cinema classics you should know about, from Mads Mikkelsen movies like Another Round (which won an Oscar) to vintage Danish TV series like Matador that every Dane has seen. Want to know where to actually watch Danish movies online? I'll tell you about Filmstriben (free with your CPR number), DR.DK with its treasure trove of classic Danish television, and how Netflix has even started making new Danish-language TV series. Plus, I'll explain how all this Danish movie production is funded by our giant Danish taxes—and why the government makes Netflix contribute too. It's all part of keeping Danish film and TV alive in an increasingly English-speaking world. Perfect for: Expats in Denmark, anyone learning Danish, fans of Scandinavian films and Nordic cinema
- Dec 3, 20257 min
December: Little Nisse, Big Money: The Danish Year Part 12
The nisse is a centuries-old figure in Danish folklore, and every December these tiny, mischievous spirits take center stage. While Santa Claus makes one big appearance late in the month, the nisse are active the whole season long. With their short stature and bright red hats, nisse are often mistaken for Santa's elves, but they live very different lives. Rather than helping in a workshop, nisse belong to individual households. They slip in and out of the walls at night, hide everyday objects, turn milk strange colors, and generally make harmless trouble. On December 24 they expect a bowl of rice pudding, and if they don't get it, they're known to act out. In modern Denmark, nisse aren't just folklore—they're also big business. At the housewares shop where I work during the Christmas rush, we stock more than 450 nisse-related products. There are soft dolls, tree ornaments, and hand-painted figurines with names like Asbjørn, Thorkild, Elvin, Liam, and Olivia. And then there are the accessories: tiny doors for the nisse to "enter" the home, miniature doormats, wooden shoes, rocking chairs, honey cakes, buckets, sleds, toolboxes, and of course the classic bowl of rice pudding. Many families—especially those with small children, and a surprising number of older women living alone—create small nisse worlds inside their homes. Some families also hang kravlenisser, the little paper nisse that "crawl" up walls and windows. They're not as popular as they once were, mostly because they're inexpensive and don't fuel the booming nisse economy. Nisse season extends into the workplace, too. Danes might be assigned a nisseven, or "nisse friend," for secret gift-giving at the office. And at holiday parties, even managers may don the pointed red nisse hat—a cheerful symbol of community and self-irony that sometimes surprises international colleagues. From home traditions to office fun, the nisse remain an essential part of Christmas in Denmark: tiny spirits with big personalities, and an even bigger cultural footprint. This is the final episode in our 12-part series, The Danish Year. Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com, or buy our books at books.howtoliveindenmark.com. You can book Kay Xander Mellish, the voice behind the How to Live in Denmark podcast, for a speech or workshop on Danish culture or Danish working culture at events.howtoliveindenmark.com. Learn more about Kay at kxmgroup.dk.
- Nov 22, 20258 min
November Rain and "daylighting" buried rivers: The Danish Year Part 11
November always seems like the rainiest of Danish months, but it isn't, actually. October is. But November feels rainier, because the sky is so grey, and it gets dark so early, and the rain sometimes comes down in little freezing pellets. Denmark is a watery country, not just its long coastline and many rivers and lakes, but also the fact it is mostly near sea level. Like the Netherlands nearby, it is extremely vulnerable to flooding. Climate changes in recent decades have made it worse, and sudden cloudbursts – or skybrud– cause a lot of damage. So retrofitting Denmark for even more water in the future has become a national obsession. One popular solution: opening up previously buried rivers and streams, particularly those that were paved over with concrete. This "daylighting" of buried waterways allows them to collect excess water from storms, and beautifies cities as well. This is the most recent episode in our 12-part series, The Danish Year.
- Oct 13, 20259 min
October, democracy in denmark, and competitive poster hanging: The Danish Year Part 10
Election posters are a colorful part of democracy in Denmark. In October, the campaigns swing into gear, and when the whistle blows on a set date at precisely noon, teams of poster-hangers cover the country with the faces of their candidates. It's highly competitive; It's against the law to take down posters once they're hung, so there's a big rush to get your party's poster up first. So on that October afternoon, you'll see teams of young people rushing about Copenhagen, Aarhus, and countryside towns with ladders, and hardback posters, and zip ties, and measuring sticks, because all posters must be at least one-and-a-half meters below power lines. There are a lot of young people available to do this because most Danish parties have a youth wing. There are also a lot of young candidates. You'll often see the candidates themselves putting up posters with their own face on them. Danish design in election posters In a country famous for great design, Danish election posters are surprisingly uniform. Every poster features one smiling face, a name, and a party color — and that's it. No slogans, no promises, no policies. What does each candidate stand for? You'll have to look it up yourself. With 13 national political parties (and many more local ones), democracy in Denmark gives voters plenty of choices. Many Danes use online tools and quizzes to find the party that matches their beliefs before they vote. Democracy in Denmark: Expats can vote Foreigners can take part in democracy in Denmark at least at the local level. If you're an EU or UK citizen — or a non-EU citizen who has lived in a Danish municipality for at least four consecutive years — you can vote in local elections just like Danish citizens. In Copenhagen, foreign residents make up around 15% of the potential voter base, though only a small share actually turn out on election day. To reach them, some Danish political parties take part in debates in English, hoping to win over international voters. It's an interesting contrast in Danish politics: while some leaders actively court the foreign vote, others continue to promote stricter immigration policies. That mix is part of what makes democracy in Denmark so unique — open, practical, and sometimes a little contradictory.
- Sep 16, 20259 min
September, elite sport, and the not-quite death of Jante Law: The Danish Year Part 9
Denmark may be a small country, but it produces world-class athletes in cycling, tennis, handball, badminton, and golf. How do they do it? And how does the tax-financed effort to create athletic champions fit with the culture code of "Jante Law", the idea is that no one should think themselves better than anyone else? September is when fall sports season starts in Denmark. The badminton league begins, so does volleyball and basketball and hockey. Most importantly, the handball season kicks off, and while I'm not a handball fan myself, I always know when that season is underway because my otherwise mild-mannered downstairs neighbor begins screaming at his flatscreen, cheering on or scolding Denmark's handball girls or handball boys, the teams are equally popular in Denmark. Team handball was invented in Denmark – and like design, it's a national passion. Danish teams have won several World Championships and many Olympic Gold Medals. Football, otherwise known as soccer, is popular too, although given the international competition, it's a bit harder for little Denmark to win championships. The Danish national team did win a European championship in 1992, something any Danish man over 40 will be happy to discuss with you in great detail. Right now there are more than 300,000 registered football players in Denmark if you count amateur, pro, and semi-pro teams. The population of Denmark is 6 million. That means one out of every 20 Danes is on a football team. Danish athletes are not particularly rich, and the ones who do make big money have tapped into markets outside of Denmark. The most famous is badminton player Viktor Axelsen. Since badminton is most popular in Asia, Viktor Axelsen learned fluent Mandarin Chinese. There are lots of endorsements in the Chinese market. The golfing Højgaard twins, Rasmus and Nicolai, make their money on the international golf circuits, in particular the PGA. Both of them also have endorsement deals. And Tour de France winner Jonas Vingegaard makes his money not just in France, but also via international endorsements. Many Danes do sports in their spare time. A bike ride th
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About How to Live in Denmark
Quick takes on life in Denmark, in 10 minutes or less. Life as an international in Denmark, one of the world's most homogenous countries, isn't always easy. In Denmark's longest-running English-language podcast, Kay Xander Mellish, an American who has lived in Denmark for more than a decade, offers tips for enjoying your time in "the world's happiest country" plus insights on Danish culture and Danish working culture.Whether you're living in Denmark, thinking about moving to Denmark, or interested in a job in Denmark and want to understand Danish business culture, this podcast will offer insights and guidance.Each episode of How to Live in Denmark is less than 10 minutes long—perfect for your coffee break or commute. Join Kay Xander Mellish as she shares quick, witty, and useful insights on Danish culture and Danish working life in this short-form podcast series."How to Live in Denmark" tackles topics that will help you understand the Danish way of living, emphasizing work-life bala
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