Ethical Non-Monogamy. What it is and what it isn’t. | Ep 87

“Opening a shaky relationship won’t fix it - it magnifies it. Ethical takes more, not less.”In this episode of the House of Peregrine Podcast, Mickelle is joined by Victoria Onken of VictoriaOnken.com, a relationship coach based in Amsterdam, to explore what ethical non‑monogamy really is (and isn’t) when you’re living abroad. Victoria shares why “I want an open relationship” is never the full story; it’s an invitation into a deeper conversation about desires, fears, and the agreements that keep love safe.Together, they unpack how international life amplifies everything; identity shifts, loneliness, pressure, and the need for real communication. Victoria reframes “open relationship” as openness itself: the courage to stay curious about your partner’s inner world, to name what you need, and to build a relationship designed for the season you’re actually in.They also discuss jealousy as a signal, not a stop sign, often pointing to unmet needs like quality time, reassurance, or autonomy. And they explore why doing this well can create more intimacy, not less: stronger boundaries, clearer consent, and a more intentional bond.In this episodeEthical non‑monogamy = consent + clear agreements (not cheating)Why opening a shaky relationship magnifies issues rather than fixing themThe “safety protocol”: role‑playing scenarios + specific agreementsJealousy as data: uncover the need beneath the reaction“Open” as a relational skill: sustainable love, vitality, and honestyNavigating kids, community, and visibility with stability and careConnect with Victoria: victoriaonken.com and Instagram @v.onken. House of Peregrine is the network for International life, made by and for people living abroad.  Get started with a FREE account today to unlock exclusive content, connections, and opportunities:houseofperegrine.com/auth/signupJoin a global circle of thinkers, creators, and doers. We host events, build products, publish guides, run a podcast, offer rewards and curated products — all within a vibrant ecosystem of experts and businesses to support your life abroad.Subscribe: houseofperegrine.com/subscribeJoin our WhatsApp Group: HOP CommunityExplore Memberships: houseofperegrine.com/membershipsInstall the App: houseofperegrine.com/installFollow us for daily inspiration and updates:Instagram: @houseofperegrinepodcastYouTube: @HouseofPeregrineofficialLinkedIn:@company/house-of-peregrineTikTok: @houseofperegrinepodcast