Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

310: Stop Doing The Dishes To Get Her In The Mood: Masculine Leadership with Stu Murray

June 5, 2026·25 min
Episode Description from the Publisher

Most people think being a good spouse means being selfless, accommodating, and easygoing. But what if those same habits are quietly creating resentment, frustration, and disconnection? In this episode, we're joined by Stu Murray, a men's leadership coach, to discuss the "Nice Guy Pattern"—the tendency to suppress your own needs, avoid conflict, and hope your partner will magically figure out what you want. Together we explore: • What covert contracts are and why they create resentment • Why people-pleasing often leads to less intimacy, not more • How unspoken expectations damage emotional safety • The connection between honesty, desire, and attraction • Why many men struggle to express what they really want • Practical steps to stop self-abandoning and start showing up authentically If you've ever thought, "After everything I do, why don't I feel appreciated?" this episode is for you. You'll learn how greater honesty, responsibility, and authenticity can create stronger connection—and often more intimacy—in your marriage. Episode Resources Come cuise with us this fall! Don't miss out on the International Lovemaking Day Challenge going on now in the Intimately Us app! Find Stu on Instagram: @iamstumurray   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

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