Season 3 Episode 4 — The Buttock Derby

⚠️ Warning: The Buttock Derby delivered everything the FA handbook explicitly forbids fake kits, flying handbags, and a referee who pulled his hamstring halfway through booking a man with extra toes.In this week’s carnage:🥴 Irish Ken’s “Real Madrid” shirts disintegrate before kick-off⚽ Meoff actually plays football, then immediately regrets it🦶 Six-Toes Derek scores, two-foots, and re-enacts Mortal Kombat🍑 Referee’s left cheek explodes mid-card-wave🪓 Tony brandishes the Stick of Justice while flogging knock-off air-fryers👩‍👜 Six-Toes’ mum vaults the barrier and drops the ref with a Primark haymaker🐕 The Labrador saves the day (again) and earns Man of the Match🚓 Local police arrive and arrest the concept of fair playSo pour a pint, brace your earholes, and join Chapo for the official Hawk & Tun post-match report —where football occasionally happens between acts of violence.💩 P.S. White Hearts finished with nine men.💩 P.P.S. The ref’s still icing his bum.💩 P.P.P.S. Sheffied is still 💩 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.