Estranged Parents: Can You Answer This Without Saying "But"?

What happens when you ask estranged parents to name one thing their adult child says hurt them without explaining it, defending it, or adding the word “but”?I asked that question, and the responses opened up a conversation I don't think we have nearly enough.Because days earlier, I had asked estranged adult children a different question: What's one thing you wish your estranged parent truly understood about your experience?Their answers were heartbreaking.Then the parents answered.And in this episode of Laugh Cry Scream, we're putting those conversations beside each other.I'm reading real comments from both sides adult children describing what they desperately wish their parents understood, and estranged parents responding to the challenge of acknowledging hurt without immediately defending themselves.Some responses show accountability. Some show pain. Some show anger. Some reveal just how differently two people can experience the same family.And underneath all of them is a much bigger question:What would happen if being understood became more important than being right?This isn't about declaring every estranged parent wrong or every adult child right. It isn't about assigning a villain to every family story. It's about listening closely enough to notice where communication breaks down and asking whether acknowledgment can exist even when two people remember the past differently.If you're an estranged parent, an estranged adult child, or someone trying to understand family estrangement from somewhere in the middle, I want to hear from you.What is one thing you wish the other person understood, even if they never agreed with you?Join the conversation in the comments.