
Seduction inside a long marriage sounds like a contradiction, and Dr. Anna Elton is here to tell us it is anything but. In this rich conversation, Christa welcomes Dr. Elton to unpack her framework for what she calls the desire equilibrium, the idea that desire is not one thing but three: desiring yourself, desiring your partner, and letting yourself feel wanted. Most couples pour all their energy into the middle one and wonder why nothing shifts. Dr. Elton explains why self-desire is the least threatening place to begin and also the most skipped, why receiving desire is genuinely harder than giving it, and how we quietly push love away the moment it arrives by downplaying a compliment, deflecting with humor, or changing the subject before the feeling has time to land. She also makes the case that context changes everything, that the very same loving gesture can feel inviting in one moment and invasive in the next, and that timing, mental load, and emotional transition often matter far more than the gesture itself. This episode offers a real path back, one that begins not with technique but with learning your own worth, and not being afraid to truly focus on the magic you can create together once again or for the very first time! Watch on YouTube! Read Dr. Anna Elton's book, The Formula of Desire, here! https://a.co/d/0hc3qCLe Visit her website here! https://annaelton.com/ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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