E8: Tell Me to Wait; S14: Cute Boy, Lucky Day

It’s been more than a week since my last episode—the longest silence since I started this podcast. After months of releasing something almost every day (and sometimes three or four things in a day), I reached a point where the episodes I was making began to feel repetitive. They were still useful and necessary for me to make, but I wasn’t sure they all needed to reach a listening audience in quite the same way.So I waited.In that space, I watched some Japanese BL, thought about bad luck, cute boys, misunderstandings, anticipation, and why I sometimes enjoy being told to wait. Then an unexpected burst of music arrived. What began as one 14-song album built from lyrics I wrote in 2016 has somehow become three albums—14 songs, 23 songs, and another 13 songs. Fifty songs in all, which is far too many songs and possibly exactly the right number.I don’t know yet what this means for the podcast. Maybe the songs will inspire a different kind of episode when there’s something meaningful I want to say around them. Maybe some will simply speak for themselves. And somewhere behind all of this are four hours of already-recorded episodes from the podcast’s previous phase—pieces that mattered while I was making them, even if finishing and releasing them now feels less urgent. Perhaps they’ll appear occasionally as artifacts from an earlier style, mixed among whatever comes next.Or perhaps no new style is developing at all. I genuinely have no idea.For now, this episode is about the pause, the strange abundance that followed it, and the possibility that waiting isn’t the absence of movement. Sometimes it’s how the next thing begins.Maybe the pause will never end. That's where I'm at.But enjoying the episode!