Why Am I a Leader at Work, but an Asshole at Home? Healing the Way We Love, Lead, and Fight | Dr. Pavini Moray

The way we love, fight, withdraw, and reconnect at home shapes how we lead everywhere else. Dr. Pavini Moray joins Amy to explore relational mindfulness, conflict patterns, leadership boundaries, shame, power dynamics, and the unconscious survival strategies that follow us from childhood into work, intimacy, and community. Together they unpack what happens when leaders overextend, when relationships become competitive instead of collaborative, and why healing relational patterns may be the deepest leadership work we ever do. The conversation moves through vulnerability, compassion, emotional accountability, mentorship, and the possibility of becoming more grounded, relational humans both at home and at work. By the end, what emerges is a hopeful truth: awareness creates choice, and choice creates the possibility for transformation.Moments That Create Momentum:Why Home Relationships Shape Leadership – Explore how unresolved conflict and emotional patterns at home ripple directly into workplace leadership and culture.The Professional Paradox: Why is it that you can lead a team with total composure during an executive crisis, yet find yourself "acting like an asshole" the moment you walk through your front door?The "Juicy Energy" Drain: Are you accidentally starving your personal relationships by giving all your best, life-affirming energy to your company, leaving only the "leftover" conflict and divisiveness for your partner?The Corporate Affair Trap: Discover why high-pressure workplaces often become a "safe haven" while the home becomes a combat zone—and how this "reversal" is a leading driver of workplace infidelity.Understanding the Pursuer-Withdrawer Dynamic – See how common relationship cycles form and why interrupting even one small part of the pattern can begin healing.Conflict as a Pathway to Self-Awareness – Discover how shame around conflict can become an invitation toward growth instead of something to avoid.Holding Power Without Losing Humanity – Hear how conscious leaders balance compassion, boundaries, accountability, and healthy authority.About the Guest:Dr. Pavini Moray is the author of How to Hold Power: Becoming a Leader People Love and Respect and the Tending the Bones: Reclaiming Pleasure after Transgenerational Sexual Trauma. With over 30 years of experience as an educator, activist, and somatic coach, they help leaders and couples do the inner work that changes how they show up in every relationship they're in.Dr. Moray holds an M.Ed. in Montessori Curriculum Design and a Ph.D. in Somatic Psychology, and works at the intersection of the body, relational patterns, and conscious leadership. They use Relational Life Therapy and somatic approaches to help people move from adaptive survival strategies into the kind of grounded, boundaried presence that actually leads well.A queer, trans, nonbinary human walking the path of old magick and ridiculous delight, Pavini writes the Substack "Glitter Joyride" and believes that learning to be truly relational with the people we love most is the first step to learning how to do it everywhere.https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-pavini-morayhttps://www.instagram.com/pavinicoakwellmoraySubstack: Glitter Joyride - https://pavinimoray.substack.com/About Amy:Amy Lynn Durham, known by her clients as the Corporate Mystic, is the founder of the Executive Coaching Firm, Create Magic At Work®, wh