Why is it so Hard to Ask for What We Need?

Eryn and L' Shawn discuss the question "Why is it so hard to ask for what you need?" They explore how unclear needs, shifting wants, and the myth of mind reading in relationships make it difficult to ask. Eryn shares an example from an art fair where she didn’t take a needed break due to ego and delegation concerns. L' Shawn reflects on trust issues, delegation challenges, and insights from a Family Constellations exercise that revealed a colleague's perceptions of her as micromanaging and distrustful. They both link the struggle to upbringing and cultural norms that discouraged children from voicing needs, leading to a lack of agency and language as adults. They suggest that coaching, mindfulness, and observing models of clear communication could help develop the skill to ask for needs.