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But For Real: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Valerie Martin & Emerson Ryder
Welcome to But For Real: the podcast where all your swirling thoughts about mental health, pop culture, and how to human are blended into one delicious variety show, co-hosted by therapists Valerie Martin (resident elder millennial ✌️) and Emerson Ryder (resident Gen Z 🫶).
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- 1 weeks ago43 min
Parapsychology & the Science of the Paranormal with Courtney M. Block 👻
What if we told you that actual scientists are studying ghosts, near-death experiences, and other paranormal phenomena—and publishing their findings in peer-reviewed journals? 👀👻 Before you roll your eyes or start shopping for a spirit box, hear us out.This week, we're joined by Courtney M. Block, librarian, paranormal researcher, and author of Inside the World's Haunted Libraries and The Encyclopedia of Parapsychology. We're diving into the fascinating world of parapsychology, exploring how to balance scientific skepticism with genuine curiosity, why we shouldn't be so quick to dismiss experiences we can't explain, and what makes libraries such perfectly haunting places. Plus, Courtney shares a seriously spooky personal experience, we contemplate whether it's actually the living doing the haunting, and we get into a little Florence + The Machine-fueled feminine rage. Because obviously.What You'll Learn:👻 Is paranormal research actually legit? From Victorian séances to scientific studies of ESP and other unexplained phenomena.🔬 Can you be skeptical AND open-minded? How to stay curious without believing everything (or dismissing everything).🧠 Does everything need an explanation? Why honoring strange experiences matters, even when we don't know what caused them.🚗 Can intuition warn us about danger? Courtney shares a chilling personal story involving a strange dream and a near-miss.📚 Why are libraries so freaking haunting? The fascinating connection between ghosts, memory, consciousness, and the spaces we inhabit.Resources Mentioned:Courtney M. Block's books and author page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B08CRKQ6V3Connect with Courtney on InstagramInside the World's Haunted Libraries — Courtney M. BlockThe Encyclopedia of Parapsychology — Courtney M. BlockResearching the Paranormal — Courtney M. BlockIncidents Around the House by Josh Malerman — Courtney's spooky-season book recommendationKindred Spirits with Amy Bruni and Adam Berry — Courtney's paranormal TV recommendation“Everybody Scream” by Florence + The Machine — Courtney's pick for Now That's What I Call… OKAAAAY!Valerie's Good News Network articleConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.comBut For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @existentiallyvalThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.coDISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.
- 3 weeks ago48 min
Let’s Look at Our Brains! 🧠 The Power of Neurofeedback with Cory Williams
What if putting a bunch of electrodes on your head could tell us something about your anxiety, attention, or how your brain works? Is this legit neuroscience, or are we about to accidentally join a cult? 🫠We've all heard the internet wellness gurus telling us to "rewire our brains," but WTF does that actually mean? This week, we're joined by Cory Williams, MS, BCN, qEEG-D, a neurofeedback and brain mapping specialist at Nashville Family Wellness, to separate the actual science from the wellness-industrial-complex nonsense.We're breaking down what brain mapping can (and can't!) tell us, how neurofeedback works, and whether these approaches can actually help with things like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and trauma. Plus, we're getting into the fascinating possibilities of using brain activity to help guide mental health treatment—and why a fancy brain scan doesn't tell the whole story.And because we're us, there's also some Kacey Musgraves fangirling, deeply unhinged Nutter Butter marketing, and a healthy dose of nerdiness along the way.What You’ll Learn:09:58 – What qEEG brain mapping actually measures (and what it doesn't).13:33 – How neurofeedback works and what the research says about its effectiveness.21:39 – Why a brain map can't diagnose mental illness on its own.22:20 – Whether brain mapping can help guide mental health treatment and medication decisions.29:50 – How trauma and neuroplasticity relate to brain functioning.39:30 – How to tell whether neurofeedback is actually working—and separate legitimate neuroscience from overhyped wellness claims.Resources Mentioned:🌈✨ Kacey Musgraves’ Official WebsiteDeep Questions with Cal Newport🍪🫠 Nutter Butter’s Unhinged Instagram🐉 Robin Hobb’s Farseer TrilogySaving Honeybees from PesticidesConnect with Cory:Cory Williams, MS, BCN, qEEG-D — Nashville Child & Family WellnessLearn more about Cory and his work in qEEG assessment, biofeedback, neurofeedback, and neuromodulation.Nashville Child & Family Wellness Center websiteNashville Child & Family Wellness Center on IG: @nashvillefamilywellnessConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.comBut For Real on IG: @butforrealpodSend us a story for The Lore segmentSend in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segmentNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center websiteDISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (Call 988 in the US), or visit <a href="http://www.findahelpline.com/" rel="noopener
- Sep 30, 202647 min
The One About People-Pleasing 🫣
When someone asks what you want and your automatic response is “I don’t care, whatever you want”… even though you absolutely DO care… congrats, babe. We might need to talk about people pleasing. 😬In this episode, we’re breaking down why so many of us are more comfortable disappointing ourselves than disappointing someone else. We talk about where people-pleasing behaviors come from, how they differ from simply being kind or considerate, and how to start tolerating the discomfort of having needs, saying no, and—gasp—letting someone be disappointed in you.Because the goal isn’t to stop caring about other people. It’s to remember that you’re one of the people whose feelings matter, too.What’s in the Episode:00:00 — Welcome + People Pleasing 10101:29 — Tea & Crumpets05:28 — The DSM: People Pleasing, Fawning + Boundaries37:15 — Now That’s What I Call— OKAYY!41:41 — Fire Dumpster Phoenix46:20 — Wrap-UpResources Mentioned in This Episode:Chellie CarlsonChellie Carlson on InstagramThe Five-Star Weekend on Peacock“Same Drugs” by Chance the Rapper“Paper Bag” by Fiona AppleGood News Network — Nashville songwriter rescuing foxes with mangeGood News Network — Hotel staff gives lost stuffed animal the VIP treatmentConnect with Us:More about the pod / past episodes: https://gaiacenter.co/podcastWatch us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ButForRealPodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bpcfrAOxJNXTx1cYHV5t8?si=7846bd1d33fb4155Send us a story for The Lore segment: https://forms.gle/K1i2XH4NCWSdAPVL6Send in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segment: https://forms.gle/yHiMjMQPyuxtwDun8Connect with us on IG: https://instagram.com/butforrealpodThe Gaia Center on IG: https://instagram.com/thegaiacenterVal on IG: https://www.instagram.com/existentiallyvalThe Gaia Center website: https://www.gaiacenter.co/DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.
- Sep 16, 202644 min
WTF is Forest Therapy with Georgia Bromehead 🌲
What if you know you’re supposed to touch grass… but you don’t particularly enjoy bugs, dirt, hiking, sweating, or being outside unless it’s approximately 72 degrees with a light breeze? 😌🌿This week, Val and Em sit down with forest therapy guide (and Emerson's grad school friend/ cohort mate) Georgia Bromehead to talk about what “connecting with nature” actually means when you’re living in a city, glued to a screen, overwhelmed by climate change, or simply not an Outdoors Person™.And good news: you do not need to buy hiking boots, memorize bird calls, or disappear into the wilderness for three days.Georgia breaks down forest therapy as a slow, relational practice rather than another wellness task to optimize, including how something as simple as holding a blade of grass, sitting with a houseplant, watching a candle flame, or noticing one tiny piece of the living world around you can help rebuild connection. We also get into eco-anxiety and ecological grief, why despair about the planet is not automatically something to pathologize, and how staying connected to the Earth can actually help us stay engaged rather than shutting down.Basically: consider this your permission slip to microdose nature.This episode covers: Meet Georgia Bromehead — forest therapy, nature connection, and touching grass in the age of AI Tea & Crumpets — analog habit trackers, archetypes, and Disney World Step Into My Office — what if you just… don’t like nature? Microdosing Nature — houseplants, botanical gardens, and starting tiny What Is Forest Therapy? — forest bathing, sensory awareness, and getting out of your head Bodies Without Performance — embodiment, agency, and letting your nervous system chill Eco-Anxiety + Planet Grief — caring deeply without drowning in despair Nature + Attachment — why trees can offer a surprisingly sturdy kind of support Start With Your Senses — a low-pressure way to practice presence anywhere Nature in the Therapy Room — regulation, intuition, and decentering the therapist ...but for REAL — come to your senses Now That’s What I Call— OKAYY! — “Let’s Not Shit Ourselves” by Bright Eyes Dumpster Fire Phoenix — finding agency, community, and some genuinely good news Rapid Fire Q&A — apps, guilty pleasures, surviving the woods, and Nashville ramen slander...but for REAL: Eco-anxiety isn’t automatically a sign that something is wrong with you. Sometimes it’s evidence that you are paying attention to something painful and real. The goal isn’t to “fix” your grief, stay hopeful 24/7, or single-handedly recycle your way out of climate collapse. It’s to let yourself feel the heartbreak, rage, beauty, and wonder—and find ways to stay in relationship with the world instead of numbing out from it.Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette: https://jungchicago.org/product/moore-compilation-within-mp3/Robert Moore archetypes lectures on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGQCeQzETqo&list=PL879965yJx44OcJaYHi1fO5IZRH7Fie0FGaylord Opryland Resort & Convention Center — indoor gardens and atriums: https://www.marriott.com/en-us/hotels/bnago-gaylord-opryland-resort-and-convention-center/overview/Missouri Botanical Garden: https://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/Let's Not Shit Ourselves by Bright Eyes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCxgTf4Iv88Now That’s What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bpcfrAOxJNXTx1cYHV5t8?si=7846bd1d33fb4155Connect with Georgia:Georgia’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.
- Sep 2, 202641 min
Psychiatric Medication + ADHD 101 with Dr. Chanel Thomas
What if the thing you've written off as a personality flaw your entire life is actually ADHD? And what if the way ADHD gets diagnosed, treated, and talked about has never really accounted for who you are?This week, Val and Em sit down with Dr. Chanel Thomas, founder, CEO, and clinical director of Blue Sage Wellness — a multi-state psychiatric group practice built specifically to serve communities that mainstream mental health has historically failed. They get into late ADHD diagnosis, medication stigma, what it actually means to practice psychiatry from an anti-oppressive lens, and why "high-functioning" often just means nobody can see how hard you're working to hold it together.This episode covers: Tea & Crumpets — Val on Dungeon Crawler Carl; Chanel on One Piece (1,200 episodes and counting); Em becomes a Lego adult Step Into My Office — 47 productivity apps and still barely functioning: is it ADHD, burnout, or something else? The DSM — high-functioning on the outside, treading water on the inside What ADHD actually looks like in adults who've spent their lives masking Late diagnosis, grief, and what it felt like when Chanel took medication for the first time Medication stigma, the "will I lose my personality" fear, and what collaborative care looks like Practicing psychiatry from a decolonized, anti-oppressive lens "...but for REAL" Now That's What I Call— OKAYY! — "Served" by XLOV Dumpster Fire Phoenix + Rapid Fire Q&A...but for REAL: ADHD doesn't just look like the hyperactive white kid bouncing off the walls. It presents differently in Black and brown, queer, and trans folks — often internalized, masked, and shaped by survival. If that's been your experience, your presentation is just as valid.Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:Blue Sage Wellness — Dr. Chanel's multi-state psychiatric group practice XLOV — "Served" — Chanel's song pick One Piece — manga and anime series; available on Crunchyroll and NetflixDungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman — Val's current readTeddy the dog rescued from Helvellyn — Good News Network Connect with Dr. Chanel:Blue Sage Wellness @chanelpsychnp on IG@bluesagewellnesspllc on IGBIODr. Chanel Thomas is a doctorally prepared, dual board-certified nurse practitioner (FNP/PMHNP) and the founder, CEO, and clinical director of Blue Sage Wellness PLLC, a multi-state psychiatric group practice serving Tennessee, Kentucky, and New York. She built Blue Sage from the ground up with a clear mission: to provide culturally affirming, high-quality psychiatric care to communities historically failed by mainstream mental health systems, including communities of color, the LGBTQ+ community, and neurodivergent individuals.But Dr. Thomas doesn't stop at the clinical chair. She is also the founder of Aligned & Abundant, a clinician empowerment and conference platform, and the Flourish Collective, a practice incubator and coaching program designed to help licensed clinicians build sustainable, values-aligned practices. She brings a decolonized lens to psychopharmacology, a neurodivergent-affirming approach to care, and a signature style that weaves anime, gaming, and geek culture into clinical work in ways that are as effective as they are unexpected.Whether she's in the clinical space, on a conference stage, or building the next chapter of her legacy, Dr. Thomas shows up the same way every time: fully, unapologetically, and with purpose.Connect with Us:More about the pod / past episodesWatch us on YouTubeNow That's What I Call... OKAA
- Aug 19, 202638 min
Why Pelvic Floor Health is Important AF with Dr. Jen Le Cougic
Dr. Jen Le Coguic is a pelvic health physical therapist with over 15 years of experience and the founder of Nashville Pelvic Health — and she's here to talk about the body part most of us are either ignoring, overtightening, or doing Kegels for when we absolutely should not be.This episode covers way more territory than you'd expect: why bladder leaks, pelvic pain, and constipation are common but not normal, why "just do your Kegels" is actually bad advice for a lot of people, what the pelvic floor has to do with your back pain and your breathing, and why men are even less served by this conversation than women. Val and Em also bring a listener who has memorized the bathroom layout of every movie theater in her city, and they have thoughts.This episode covers: Tea & Crumpets — Em's analog Sudoku era; Val's proud moment of discernment; Jen on the pelvic floor–nervous system connection and Asheville's dog-friendliness Step Into My Office — a listener who knows every public bathroom in her city asks: when does "annoying" become worth getting help for? The DSM — what the pelvic floor actually does, why "just do your Kegels" is bad advice for a lot of people, and why the medical system keeps siloing symptoms it should be connecting The vFit, breathwork, pregnancy, postpartum, men's pelvic health, and what to expect at your first appointment "...but for REAL" Now That's What I Call— OKAYY! — "Undone" by Weezer Dumpster Fire Phoenix + Rapid Fire Q&A...but for REAL: These problems are common, but they're not normal. If something is bothering you — even if it's just annoying, even if you haven't had a baby, even if it doesn't feel "serious enough" — reach out to a pelvic floor therapist, do a consult, and get the help that's out there for you.Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:Nashville Pelvic Health — Dr. Jen's clinicvFit by Joylux — the red light therapy pelvic device Val spotted at the STIMULATE Conference (#NotSponsored)"Undone — The Sweater Song" by Weezer@omgitsheidiii — the viral reel about Grandma CaroleKhruangbin — Jen's other recent musical obsession!Connect with Dr. Jen:Nashville Pelvic Health websiteJen on IGNPH on IGConnect with Us:More about the pod / past episodesWatch us on YouTubeNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistSend us a story for The Lore segmentSend in a request for advice for our Step Into My Office segmentConnect with us on IG: @butforrealpodThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @existentiallyvalThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.coDISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US
- Aug 5, 202652 min
Attention Activism: A Liberation Movement to Combat the Societal Attention Crisis
Did you know your brain will ask if it should be doing something else about four seconds into this episode? That's not a joke — that's the real documented average. And honestly, it's kind of the whole point.In Episode 50, Val and Em go deep on attention — not the "just delete TikTok" version of this conversation, but the real one. The systemic, political, whose-profit-is-this-serving one. Val brings fresh insights from her Attention Activism 101 course with the Strother School of Radical Attention (SoRA), and Em brings a fracking metaphor nobody asked for but everyone needed.They also get into Em's "less is more" era, Val saying a meaningful goodbye to her grandfather and the existential questions it's cracking open, and a letter from a social media manager who builds lives AND works in the attention economy and is starting to feel like the villain in her own story.This episode covers: Tea & Crumpets — Em on "less is more" as a values-based practice; Val on consciousness, death, and the science-meets-woo rabbit hole she's currently in Step Into My Office — a social media manager asks: is it possible to do this job without becoming this person? The DSM — Attention Activism: what it is, where it comes from, and why individual willpower was never the answer Surveillance capitalism, behavioral data, and the fracking metaphor Spotlight, starlight, and daylight — philosopher James Williams' three-tier framework for what we actually lose Attentional ecologies, flow state, hyperfocus, and why "good attention" is more complicated than we think Who owns your attention? (And what does it mean that we pay it?) Attentional debt — and how it shows up as burnout What to actually do: dérive, app blockers, microdosing quiet, and the SOS framework "...but for REAL" — the mic drop moment Now That's What I Call— OKAYY! — music segment Dumpster Fire Phoenix — SoRA's growing momentum + Val's Kindle era...but for REAL: Losing your focus in a world that is literally engineered to fragment it is not a personal failing. It is the business model. Attention was never supposed to be this hard to fight for on your own — so remember that you don't have to.Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This EpisodeStrother School of Radical Attention (SoRA) — the Brooklyn-based nonprofit behind the Attention Activism movement; Attention Activism 101 & 201 courses (please verify URL before publishing)The Attensity Manifesto — the movement's foundational text (please verify URL before publishing)Opal — app blocker Val and Em recommendScreenZen — app blockerJomo — app blocker (Val's current go-to)Brick — physical app-blocking device (please verify URL before publishing)Shoshana Zuboff, The Age of Surveillance Capitalism — the book behind the surveillance capitalism framework Em referencesJames Williams, Stand Out of Our Light — spotlight/starlight/daylight frameworkNatasha Dow Schüll, Addiction by Design — the casino/slot machine researchDonnie Darko (2001) — where Gary Jules' "Mad World" first appeared; highly recommended if you haven't seen it"Reign Me In" — Sam Fender ft. Olivia Dean — Em's song pick (please add Spotify link)"Mad World" — Gary Jules — Val's song pick (please add Spotify link)Connect with Us:More about the pod / past episodesWatch us on YouTubeNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistSend us a story for The Lore segment<a href="
- Jul 22, 202643 min
Divorce Law 101 + Protecting Kids & LGBTQ Families with Family Law Attorney Rachel Welty
Rachel Welty is a Nashville-based family and juvenile law attorney and the founder of Welty Law Office, where she has spent nearly 20 years doing things differently. Named to the Tennessee Mid-South Super Lawyers list and a Tennessee Rule 31 Listed Mediator, Rachel takes a child advocacy-centered approach to family law — because she genuinely believes that when kids' needs come first, parents do better too.She works with clients navigating divorce, child custody, support, orders of protection, adoption, DCS involvement, and LGBTQIA+ family law issues, and she's known for bringing a trauma-informed lens to a legal system that often doesn't have one. She's also a single working mom, which means she brings both professional expertise and hard-won personal experience to everything she does.This episode covers: Tea & Crumpets — Val on The Telepathy Tapes, Rachel on the NHL playoffs and emotional men, Em on her poolside ADHD hack The Lore — Rachel on military spouse life, her husband's deployment to Afghanistan, and what losing a house in divorce taught her about herself The DSM — trauma-informed lawyering, what the legal process gets wrong, and how Rachel helps clients stay out of their fear brain High-conflict vs. healthy divorce — what it costs kids, and what most family attorneys miss The biggest misconception people bring into divorce court Discernment counseling, mediation, and the couples who pause their divorce and come back changed What LGBTQIA+ couples need to know right now to protect their legal rights Why therapists and family attorneys should be talking to each other "...but for REAL" - the mic drop moment Now That's What I Call— OKAYYY! - music segment! Dumpster Fire Phoenix — Dolly Parton wisdom and Em's birthday era Rapid Fire Q&A...but for REAL: Stay in the here and now. If you're in the middle of a divorce, a custody battle, or any kind of legal storm — the what-ifs will eat you alive. Empower yourself with information, find people you trust, and take it one step at a time.Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This EpisodeWelty Law Office — Rachel's Nashville family and juvenile law practiceThe Telepathy Tapes — Val's Tea & Crumpets rec: the podcast about nonverbal autistic individuals and telepathic communicationDiscernment Counseling — the protocol Val references for couples where one partner is leaning out of the marriageLittle Beautiful Things by Maggie Smith — Rachel's most-recommended book, a memoir about divorce and moving forward (note: confirm exact title before publishing — Rachel mentioned it as "Little Beautiful Things" but the published title is You Could Make This Place Beautiful)"Open Up Your Eyes" by Tonic — Rachel's song pick for Now That's What I Call— OKAYY!Answer Nashville — Rachel's go-to Nashville dinner spotNashville Conflict Resolution Center — one of the nonprofits Rachel volunteers withConnect with Rachel:Welty Law Office websiteInstagram: @weltylawFacebook: Welty Law OfficeConnect with Us:More about the pod / past episodes<a href="https://www.youtube.com/@ButForRealPod" rel
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About But For Real
Welcome to But For Real: the podcast where all your swirling thoughts about mental health, pop culture, and how to human are blended into one delicious variety show, co-hosted by therapists Valerie Martin (resident elder millennial ✌️) and Emerson Ryder (resident Gen Z 🫶).
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