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- Yesterday53 min
Grandma Got Cornbread Stuck in Her Soft Palette (ft. Hugh Howser)
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week we’re joined by none other than our favorite comedian in the whole world, Mr. Hugh Howser, who shows up dressed like the head of the PTO and immediately takes the whole episode off the rails. We start with how nobody in this room loved Halloween as a kid, and then it gets worse (better?) from there. Riley takes us through sleeping in his grandma’s sewing room under an 8x10 portrait of a man named Stan, on a 42-year-old mattress with a dip in the middle big enough to need disaster relief. Hugh tells us how his housekeeper walked in on him and the two of them screamed, then danced to mariachi at 6 a.m. Then we spiral into rooster decor, Highland cows with bangs, country maternity photo shoots, gender reveal parties, and why a British child saying “Father Christmas” is enough to end us. Somewhere along the way, we discuss the jacket potato lady and her flawless spoon technique, a 2 a.m. Waffle House run, putting anything on earth between two pieces of bread, and why we will never, ever sign up for a car wash membership. Then Hugh pulls back the curtain on 22 years of celebrity weddings, how he went from event planner to one of the funniest people in Nashville, and the story of the department store he ran out of his bedroom at seven years old, complete with a cash register, inventory nights, and a no-return policy. We also get into our dream jobs (flight attendant, usher, bank teller), our love of a landline, a $600 plate of pig foam, and our upcoming trip to Sandals. Basically, we’re taking over a Golden Corral, running a department store, and talking about everything except anything important. If you’ve ever been cornered by a car wash kiosk, been haunted by a portrait over your grandma’s guest bed, or secretly wanted to be an usher at the performing arts center, this episode is for you. Love y’all. Bye! Thank you to these sponsors: Füm: Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline and use code BLOODLINE to receive a Füm Topper with your purchase. ZBiotics: Go to ziotics.com/banter and use code BANTER. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Instagram - https://Instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell Hugh Howser: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/hughhowser/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/hughhowser111/ Website - https://www.hughhowser.com/
- 1 weeks ago48 min
She Air Fried Her Little Cat
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! It’s episode 40, which is apparently a whole pregnancy’s worth of us running our mouths, and this week we’re doing it with tequila shots at an 8:30 a.m. charity breakfast, a spontaneous road trip to Georgia, and a Christmas tree already up on the kitchen counter. We kick things off with why we’d rather scrub our baseboards with a toothbrush than step foot in a haunted house, followed by Aunt Denise’s phone call that left us wondering if you should always check the dryer before you hit start. (The cat is fine. Mostly. Probably.) Then we get into assembling a balcony chair and feeling like we could build an ark, why we both failed math, and our deep love of a good PowerPoint. Somewhere along the way, we debate whether you really need to dress for success, why a southern woman doesn’t leave the house without her lip liner, and our very strong feelings about pimple patches on the food industry, dogs in the grocery store, and the Cracker Barrel gift shop being the closest thing to heaven on earth. We also announce that we’re taking two shows to Nashville Comedy Fest on April 15th, tease a big announcement coming in the second week of November, and debut our brand-new Bloodline Q&A, where we cover ideal days of eating, our most overrated vacation spots, and the great Dancing With the Stars debate. Cousin Council is back in session, too, with a rock-solid answer for the girl with the cheating baby daddy and a very clever bathroom-accident cover-up that deserves an award. Basically, we’re doing a lot of talking and not saying anything important. If you’ve ever wanted to call a motivational speaker’s bluff, been mad at a Walmart shopper’s Chihuahua, or just want to see what happens when the Cracker Barrel gift shop hates to see you coming, this episode is for you. Love y’all. Bye! Thank you to these sponsors: Steward: Go to https://withsteward.com and use code BLOODLINE10 for 10 percent off. That's withsteward.com, code BLOODLINE10. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
- 2 weeks ago49 min
Somebody Pooped in a Crockpot (ft. Skylar)
Welcome back to another episode of Bloodline Banter! This week, we have a familiar face back in the studio! By popular demand, Skylar Oxford is joining us again, and you already know things are about to get out of hand! We’re recapping our trip to New York City, seeing ourselves on a Times Square billboard, and why we might not be cut out for big-city living. Between a questionable Uber driver, some unforgettable sights in Times Square, and an airport experience that nearly sent us over the edge, we've got plenty to unpack. We’re also talking about blocking exes on every platform imaginable, the good old days of Wii Sports and Club Penguin, flying Teslas, and why Siri might be losing her mind! But that's just the beginning! Skylar has a few things to get off her chest, including what happens when somebody crosses, and why certain people should be nervous if we three ever write a book. We also get into some questionable dating decisions, the lengths we'll go to when somebody blocks us, and a few confessions that probably should've stayed off the microphone. Let's just say some people might want to keep an eye on their Cash App! And somehow, in true Bloodline Banter fashion, we end up debating ranch dressing, Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes, Southern comfort food, and whether a meal replacement actually counts as a meal. We're taking a trip down memory lane to Vacation Bible School, discussing our plans for a Teddy Swims concert, and sharing enough unpopular opinions to keep everybody talking. One thing's for sure, with the three of us together, no topic is safe! If you’ve ever blocked somebody and still had a few things left to say, missed the good old days of Nintendo Wii, or found yourself in a conversation that went absolutely nowhere but covered everything, this episode is for you! Thank you to these sponsors: Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter Füm: Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline and use code BLOODLINE to receive a Füm Topper with your purchase. Steward: Go to withsteward.com and use code BLOODLINE10 for 10 percent off. That's withsteward.com, code BLOODLINE10. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter:Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell Skylar Oxford: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sj.oxford/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@sjxoxo Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@skylar.oxford
- 3 weeks ago52 min
Fat Cells Never Die
Welcome back to another episode of Bloodline Banter! This week, we’re catching y’all up on everything happening in our lives as we settle into our new places, get back into our routines, and embrace a fresh new chapter! We’re talking about everything from our sleep schedules and the little things that come with moving to friendships, everyday experiences, and all the random thoughts that have been running through our heads lately. Of course, we couldn’t get through an episode without going down a few rabbit holes! We’re getting into grocery store adventures, the science behind fat cells and why they apparently never really disappear, and some hilarious conversations about the things we all experience but don’t always talk about. Somewhere along the way, we manage to turn the most ordinary topics into full-blown discussions, complete with plenty of laughs, stories, and our usual unsolicited opinions. If you’ve ever been excited about a fresh start, found yourself overthinking the simplest things, had a grocery store experience worth telling everybody about, or just love a good conversation that goes absolutely everywhere, this episode is for YOU! As always, we’re so thankful y’all choose to spend part of your week with us. We love y’all so bad it hurts, and we’ll see you next week for another episode of Bloodline Banter! Thank you to these sponsors: Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. Cure Hydration: Go to http://curehydration.com/BANTER and get 20% off your first order with promo code BANTER. Amble Health: Curious about NAD+ therapy? Learn more through a convenient online consultation with a licensed healthcare provider. If prescribed, treatment is shipped directly to your door. Visit joinamble.com/banter to see if NAD+ therapy may be right for you. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
- 4 weeks ago49 min
We are Buying Flip Phones
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we’re in the middle of moving, barely packed, throwing half our apartments away, and somehow still making time to run out mouth about everything else going on in our lives. We start with our hatred for Halloween and why we’d take a fall festival, apple cider, and a hayride over haunted houses and giant skeletons any day. Then we’re still trying to process the fact that y’all SOLD OUT all three of our first-ever live shows in Huntsville and wondering where Bloodline Banter might need to show up next. Somewhere along the way, we get into naming sourdough starters, Riley accidentally eating the cow he bottle-fed as a kid, the dumbest dogs we’ve ever owned, and why hanging up a modern phone will never be as satisfying as slamming down a landline. We also get into our refusal to ever switch to Samsung, grandparents discovering Facebook, watching the same episode of Gunsmoke for the 400th time, our very strong opinions on which burner of the stove is superior, and an unnecessarily passionate conversation about oysters. Basically, we’re moving, losing our minds, and talking about everything except anything important. If you’ve ever hated Halloween, judged somebody by the color of their text bubbles, or had a favorite burner on your stove, this episode is for you. Love y’all. Bye! Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. Thank you to these sponsors: Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. MASA Chips: Ready to give MASA a try? Go to http://MASACHIPS.com/BANTER and use code BANTER for 25% Remi: Go to http://shopremi.com/banter and use code BANTER to get 50% off your new night guard with Remi Club. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
- Oct 1, 202654 min
The Secret is OUT.. Bloodline Banter LIVE?
Welcome back to another episode of Bloodline Banter! This week, we’re asking the questions nobody else seems concerned about — like what NBC is doing studying our fridges, why people are dressing up as wildlife and wandering around fields, and who exactly decided how Social Security numbers and phone numbers get picked. Naturally, that sends us down a rabbit hole involving Dollar General and the realization that numbers literally never end. We also establish an important boundary: Landon loves you for having pets… but if you own a reptile, you might be pushing it. PLUS, the secret is finally out — Bloodline Banter is going LIVE! We’re talking about the live show announcement and how crazy it is that we’re finally taking this thing to the stage. If you’ve ever questioned where your Social Security number came from, wondered if numbers ever actually end, or currently have a lizard staring at you from across the room… this episode is for you. Love you, bye! Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. Huntsville, AL Show Tickets: https://www.ticketweb.com/event/bloodline-banter-podcast-live-huntsville-levity-live-tickets/14333774 Thank you to these sponsors: Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. Olive App: Go to www.oliveapp.com/banter and use code BANTER for 50% off all memberships. ZBiotics: Go to ziotics.com/banter and use code BANTER for 15% off your order. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
- Sep 24, 202654 min
I'm not Dying with a Savings Account
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, Riley and Landon are back with a whole lot of opinions, very little patience, and absolutely no plans to mind their own business. From engagements that last longer than the actual marriage to unspoken prayer requests that are really just an invitation to gossip, the cousins have a few things they need to get off their chests. Riley relives the trauma of accidentally drinking unsweet tea, and has officially had enough of paper straws dissolving in his Diet Coke. The two agree that Jesus is in the saving business, but they're in the spending business. Plus, Southern church prayer chains, Christmas decorations going up before Thanksgiving, and the unspoken rule that every household must have at least 400 Walmart bags stuffed inside one Walmart bag. Throw in a little Cousin Counsel, some questionable life advice, and a few arguments that nobody asked for, and you've got another Thursday with the cousins. If you've ever needed the Lord to answer a prayer but also needed to know exactly what happened to Debbie and her husband, this episode is for you! Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. Thank you to these sponsors: Cozy Earth: Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code BANTER for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. Füm: Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa1FKM3Q5RUtuaTlKWFhtR2l2UU5JLU96RlRNUXxBQ3Jtc0trQTdpcm5oVVZLYjA3UU5YbEpuTGlOOXV1YmZaVDZOVDhhcVRWVUFIYnBNR3hNTUdPcUlGR01BTjJVem9xT0xicUFvcUpJcTl1a2ltLWRpb1VMQXRnVHl0YzBtZU5ocTkzSVhwMlpfTDNGZXkyS2I5Zw&q=https%3A%2F%2Ftryfum.com%2Fbloodline&v=mmd16scynO8) and use code BLOODLINE to receive a Füm Topper with your purchase. ZBiotics: Go to ziotics.com/banter and use code BANTER for 15% off your order. Olive App: Go to www.oliveapp.com/banter and use code BANTER for 50% off all memberships. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
- Sep 17, 202650 min
Gentle Parenting is for Gentle Children
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we’re coming in hot after scrapping an entire episode, and apparently that was all it took for us to completely lose the plot. We start with Landon preparing for a potential trip to jail over a forgotten ticket—mugshot merch, wanted posters, and a bail-out plan already in the works—only to find out the whole crisis could be solved with $200. From there, Riley has officially joined the Tesla cult, soup season is threatening every ounce of weight-loss progress we’ve made, and one trip to Walmart sends us into a full-blown discussion about children running wild and the way we were raised. Somehow we also find time to discuss Sydney Sweeney, why Sonic needs to bring back roller-skating carhops and the two-guys-in-a-car commercials, our lifelong dreams of Dancing with the Stars, terrible car names, why sprinkles ruin perfectly good desserts, and the absolute chokehold Southern injury-lawyer billboards have on the interstate. Then we get into cheaters, liars, karma, tables that always turn, people who have officially exhausted every ounce of our patience, scared drivers, Riley’s introduction to interstate driving, and why Todd Chrisley may be one of the greatest trash-talkers to ever walk the earth. Basically, if you’ve ever forgotten something important, hated a sprinkle, panicked while merging onto the interstate, waited patiently for karma to do its job, or realized halfway through a conversation that you have absolutely no idea how you got there… this episode is for you. Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. Thank you to these sponsors: MASA Chips: Ready to give MASA a try? Go to http://MASACHIPS.com/BANTER and use code BANTER for 25% off your first order. Cozy Earth: Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code BANTER for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
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