2168 When You’re Desperate

Maybe you’re living out a story that doesn’t look like you imagined. You had dreams, you had desires, you had plans … and your life seems to have fallen flat. You’ve been left wanting – left waiting – left wondering. When will things change for you? How much longer do you have to wait? What if what you want will never happen? Then what? Will you just be miserable? Or what if it does change? What if your waiting is over. What if the very thing you’ve always wanted is on it’s way to you now, it’s literally happening. Then what? Will you finally be happy? One thing I know for sure – we’re in a continual pursuit of what we think will make us happy, and that mark constantly moves. Most of us literally woke up surrounded by answers to the very prayers we once prayed. Yet we didn’t wake up feeling like we have it all. The mark moved. The distant land of happiness is still just out of your reach. But you tell yourself when you finally get there life will be so good. It’s almost like the end of the rainbow. It looks like it’s just right over there. Like you can walk right to it. But when you get there, the end of the rainbow has moved on you, so you never quite arrive. Within our Bible is the story of a woman who waited well. A woman who was brutally honest with God instead of faking her way through it. And a woman who finally got what she wanted and shows us precisely what to do then. That woman is Hannah. Her story is found in 1 Samuel chapters 1 and 2. Hannah was married to a man with one of those really hard to pronounce names, so we will just call him E. E had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah. Hannah was the one E really loved, but Peninnah was the one who had given him children. Verse 5 says, “The Lord had closed her womb.” Why wasn’t she able to have children? It’s actually very clear. The Lord had closed her womb. Now of course to us that doesn’t seem fair. Why? That’s what Hannah was asking as well. And guess what? God didn’t fault her for asking. He doesn’t find fault in our asking either. You can ask God why. Why are you left waiting? Why has your life turned in a direction you would have never asked for? What do you have to do to get this to change for you? Here’s what I notice in these stories in our Bible – if our questioning is directed to God, it is always handled with care and powerful resolve. God always makes a way, or He reveals how His way is for a greater purpose. It’s never left unresolved. He answers. But the issue becomes when we’re turning to anyone or anything other than God for solutions to our problems. In your wait – in your struggle – in your trial – who are you bringing your questioning to? Where are you going when you are seeking? Those self-help books are not your answer. That relationship isn’t your answer. That promotion isn’t your answer. That number on the scale isn’t your answer. That next accomplishment isn’t your answer. Your answer is God. Hannah could have become bitter. She could have become resentful. She could have given up on God altogether. Instead, she ran to Him. At this time in history, once a year you could go up where the priest was and offer a sacrifice and worship the Lord. Yes, just once a year. Every year when Hannah would go to worship the Lord, there E’s other wife would be as well. And there, Peninnah, the wife with children, would poke at her. Verses 6-7, “Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.” Every time Hannah went to worship God, she was only reminded of what she didn’t have. Reminded of what she wanted but still lacked. Reminded of her struggle, her short-coming, and her future that looked nothing like she had imagined. Year after year. Prayer after prayer. Disappointment after disappointment. But you know what she didn’t stop doing – she didn’t stop going to worship God. She didn’t sit in her hurt, wallow in her disappointment, and give up on God. She kept going to worship. Even when this awful woman would be there. Even when she was reminded of what she didn’t have. SHE KEPT GOING TO GOD. Girl, whatever you’re waiting on, you keep going to God. Don’t let anyone discourage you. Don’t let anyone or anything get in your way of going to God. Now, this part of the story shows us our most important move. Verse 10, “In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly.” She didn’t hold it in. She didn’t pretend like she was okay