How to Want Yourself with Katie Horwitch

In this episode, our guest is Katie Horwitch. She is the author of "Want Yourself, Shift Yourself," engaging in a captivating conversation. In this episode, we delve into self-discovery, personal development, and addressing negative self-talk. How did you develop the desire to be yourself and cultivate a sense of competence to progress in life? Explore the journey of turning dreams into reality as Katie walks you through tactical ways to make it happen. Without further ado, let's dive into the episode with Katie Horwitch [2:34] Why should I listen to you?  Being an introvert and a highly sensitive person, if I initiate a conversation with you, it's because I see the potential for meaningful interaction between us. [3:25] What are the things that are deeply important to you? That's a great question because, as someone with a contrasting personality – a gregarious introvert or what some might label an extroverted introvert – people often mistake me for an outgoing person. However, I tend to keep to myself not because I'm guarded but because I'm a professional observer, always absorbing data from people and the world. Meaningful conversations in this setting, not during a keynote or workshop, stem from something I've noticed in you and grown curious about. When it comes to making adult friendships, many find it daunting, assuming it involves constant small talk. I prefer to reverse-engineer the situation, considering the type of connection and feelings I want to cultivate. I'm genuinely invested in our conversation and our interaction, with a focus on the 'so what' – what happens afterward and beyond. [7:00] What sparked your intense curiosity in professional settings like NFL teams, and have you ever been perceived as stuck up for being a listener rather than an immediate talker? Both questions are intriguing, but the second one stands out. Regarding the first, people often talk about rediscovering their childhood free-spirited selves. However, I've been hypersensitive and a keen observer since birth, not just emotionally but to lights, noises, and people's moods. Thankfully, this trait wasn't discouraged overtly, though growing up in the '80s and '90s, societal expectations leaned toward being loud and confident, particularly for women. While I absorbed the world around me, the societal push for confidence without appearing narcissistic created a dynamic where I became a social chameleon. I adapted to avoid being labeled as off-putting or arrogant, honing this skill through life's ups and downs. Regarding the second point about being perceived as unfriendly for not talking much, I rarely encountered that due to my heightened awareness. Growing up in a talkative family, meeting my introverted husband highlighted my tendency to fill silence.  [13:02] How did you get to the point of finding that space between your husband where you could learn to be quiet? I found myself filling space in certain situations, driven by a desire for something specific. Your example of a group of seemingly self-centered individuals resonates – perhaps they seek acknowledgment or lack opportunities to express themselves elsewhere. As an internal processor in a world of external processors, I sometimes need to process aloud, and my husband, lovingly, called me out on this. I realized my tendency to fill space comes from a desire for connection, born out of being a recovered people pleaser.  [16:25] What was your journey to this point like?  As mentioned, I grew up with hypersensitivity and heightened observance. Navigating life, I faced a constant tug-of-war between my self-confidence, the subtleness within me, and societal expectations, especially for women. There was an unwritten rule against being too loud or taking pride in accomplishments, which wasn't conducive to embracing one's strengths. Reflecting on the mental health conversations prevalent today, it's clear that such discussions weren't part of the narrative during my upbringing as a child of the '80s and '90s. By the time I reached college, the struggle with control intensified. As a musical theater major at the University of California, Irvine, the facade I had maintained for connection and belonging crumbled. This led to a complex mix of eating and body-related disorders, an issue compounded by the limited discourse around mental health in 2006-2007. In those times, the conversation about these disorders was binary, lacking nuance. My personal struggle compelled me to turn my hyper-observant nature inward for self-reflection. Recognizing that something wasn't right, especially as someone in tune with my body like you as an athlete, was a pivotal moment. [21:30] How