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Shrink For The Shy Guy: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Dr. Aziz Gazipura, Psychologist and Author
Do you worry what other people will think? Does it make you doubt yourself, feel guilty, and ultimately stop you from being fully yourself?This can show up as people-pleasing and difficulty saying no. Or as social anxiety, staying silent in meetings, replaying conversations for hours afterward.Dr. Aziz Gazipura is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Not Nice. He's helped thousands of people break free from self-doubt and the fear of others' opinions.After 20 years of clinical work, Dr. Aziz discovered one pattern running underneath all of it. He calls it the approval trap: prioritizing approval over being yourself, saying what you mean, and going for what you actually want.This show is for the person who looks confident on the outside and doesn't feel it on the inside.New episodes every Wednesday.Next Steps:1. Discover your approval type.Take the 2-minute quiz to find out which of the four patterns is running your work, dating, and social life — Diplomat
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- 2 days ago13 min
5 Hidden Ways You're People-Pleasing Without Knowing It
You already know the obvious people-pleasing patterns. This episode isn't about those. It's about the five subtler ones that look like generosity, thoughtfulness, or being a good friend, and never get addressed because they don't feel like the problem. Dr. Aziz walks through each of the five, names the specific mechanic underneath, and explains why one of them was a turning point in his own life when a client called him out for wrapping himself around other people like a plastic bag. This episode covers: The bobblehead agreement that starts before you've heard what was said The extra exclamation points and what they're actually doing Swooping in with help nobody asked for (and why it feels like generosity) The stomach-tight logistical stress that's fixer energy in disguise The open-door no that kicks the can down the road to your future self Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura Work with Dr. Aziz directly: The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3. Connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
- 1 weeks ago14 min
Why You Can't Say No Without An Excuse
You don't want to host. Nothing's wrong. You just don't want to. That should be enough. It isn't. You scramble for a reason, and if you can't find one, you say yes. In this episode, Dr. Aziz names the hidden rule underneath the whole pattern: you can't decline unless you have a reason the other person will agree is good enough. He unpacks where the rule came from, why what do I want here is one of the most subversive questions you can ask yourself, and the practice for saying no without the paragraph of justification. This episode covers: The hidden line of code that decides whether you're allowed to say no The client story about a text, a text back about mayonnaise, and what changed The MVP question that unlocks everything (and why it feels dangerous) What niceness has in common with control (this one may surprise you) Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura Work with Dr. Aziz directly: The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3. Connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
- 2 weeks ago13 min
Why Being Liked Never Feels Like Enough
You already have people who like you. Family, friends, colleagues, maybe a partner. None of it fully lands. There's still a tightness in the meetings that matter, an anxiety around new people, a quiet craving for the next person's approval. In this episode, Dr. Aziz explains why accumulating more approval doesn't resolve the pattern, why the loop functions structurally like an addiction, and the specific question that shifts the whole game. Not how do I get them to like me? A completely different question, aimed at a different layer. This episode covers: Why accumulating approval doesn't solve the underlying pattern The addiction structure underneath approval-seeking (and why nicotine is the exact right metaphor) The ping-pong story where Dr. Aziz couldn't breathe while playing casually The question that changes the game (and it isn't the one you've been asking) Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura Work with Dr. Aziz directly: The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3. Connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
- 3 weeks ago11 min
The Hidden Fear Behind Being Nice
You've been taking quiet satisfaction in being one of the good guys. You give. You show up. You say yes when you want to say no. In this episode, Dr. Aziz walks through what's actually running underneath the pattern most people call kindness, and why real kindness feels fundamentally different in your body afterward. The tell isn't the yes. It's what the yes leaves behind. Real kindness leaves warmth. Fear dressed up as kindness leaves fatigue, resentment, and a slow-growing sense of burnout. That distinction, followed carefully, opens up a very different kind of life. This episode covers: The specific mechanics underneath the nice person's yes Why calling it kindness lets the pattern continue running undisturbed The Wild West stick-up metaphor for what your nervous system is doing The MVP question that starts to break the spell (and why most people can't ask it) Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura Work with Dr. Aziz directly: The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3. Connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
- Oct 6, 202610 min
Why You Can't Stop Replaying That Conversation
The conversation happened. Hours ago. Days ago. Years ago in some cases. You're still running it back. You've tried to just let time dissolve it. It hasn't worked. In this episode, Dr. Aziz explains what the replaying is actually trying to tell you, and walks through the specific practice for putting it down for good. The replaying isn't a malfunction. It's your nervous system signaling that something was unfinished. Once you can hear the signal, name what was actually unsaid, and make a real commitment about the next conversation, the loop stops on its own. This episode covers: What your brain is actually telling you when it won't stop replaying The specific questions that reveal what was left unsaid Why self-criticism about not having said it makes the replaying worse The empty-chair practice that puts the conversation down for good Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura Work with Dr. Aziz directly: The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3. Connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
- Sep 29, 202615 min
7 Signs You Need People To Like You Too Much
Wanting people to like you isn't the problem. Needing them to is. In this episode, Dr. Aziz walks through the specific moment when a preference for approval crosses over into a compulsion, and lays out seven concrete signs the reader may recognize from their own life. Some of these are the ones you've named before. Others are more subtle. Together, they diagnose one underlying condition your nervous system may have been running for longer than you realized. This episode covers: The exact crossover from I'd like to be liked to I need to be liked Seven concrete signs you may be running the pattern (with real examples) Why one criticism can outweigh a hundred positive reflections The root cause underneath all seven, and what actually shifts it Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura Work with Dr. Aziz directly: The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3. Connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
- Sep 23, 202615 min
Why You Can't Stop Caring What Other People Think
You've been told for years that if you just cared less, you'd care less. You've probably tried. It hasn't worked. Not because you didn't try hard enough, but because the advice was pointed at the wrong target. In this episode, Dr. Aziz walks through what's actually happening in your nervous system when you can't stop replaying the meeting, wondering if that text was worded right, or worrying about how the last conversation landed. He unpacks the specific formula your nervous system wired up in childhood, why just have more confidence doesn't reach the layer where the pattern lives, and what actually starts to shift it. This episode covers: Why caring less is impossible advice (and what's actually running the pattern) The equation your nervous system installed between ages 4 and 10 Why highly confident, successful people still can't stop replaying the meeting The one shift that starts to unwire disapproval-equals-danger Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura Work with Dr. Aziz directly: The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3. Connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
- Sep 16, 202612 min
Why One Negative Comment Ruins Your Day
Ten people tell you the presentation was great. One person emails you afterward and says something dismissive. Which one plays in your head for the next three days? You already know the answer. In this episode, Dr. Aziz shares a hate email he received today, contrasts his current reaction with how the same message would have wrecked him a decade ago, and unpacks what actually changed in between. He walks through why some criticism cuts to the core while other criticism bounces off entirely, and the three layers of internal shift that make the difference. This episode covers: Why some criticism cuts deep and other criticism doesn't (it isn't what you think) The hate email Dr. Aziz got today, and why his reaction shocked him The email that used to wreck him back when he was building his list What actually changes when someone genuinely stops needing everyone to approve Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura Work with Dr. Aziz directly: The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3. Connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
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About Shrink For The Shy Guy
Do you worry what other people will think? Does it make you doubt yourself, feel guilty, and ultimately stop you from being fully yourself?This can show up as people-pleasing and difficulty saying no. Or as social anxiety, staying silent in meetings, replaying conversations for hours afterward.Dr. Aziz Gazipura is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Not Nice. He's helped thousands of people break free from self-doubt and the fear of others' opinions.After 20 years of clinical work, Dr. Aziz discovered one pattern running underneath all of it. He calls it the approval trap: prioritizing approval over being yourself, saying what you mean, and going for what you actually want.This show is for the person who looks confident on the outside and doesn't feel it on the inside.New episodes every Wednesday.Next Steps:1. Discover your approval type.Take the 2-minute quiz to find out which of the four patterns is running your work, dating, and social life — Diplomat
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