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Top of the mornin’! G’day lads and lassies from the land down over which is what we call Ireland because we’re somewhere over the rainbow if you catch my drift. We’ve got a wee bit of potty humor in our wee little show for you tonight (there’s a wee laddie in my ear who doesn’t know what time of day it’s supposed to be). And much like the Nintendo Wii, we are never ever getting back together. We understand each other, oui oui? That’s it. We did it. Wheeeeeeeeee!
Are you sick and tired of “normal” podcasts that make you laugh with their “jokes”? Does getting praised by a complete stranger inflate your eggy? Do you ever wonder what do boats do? If you answered yes or no to any of these questions, then this episode is the thing for you! Hear Austin rant about bands, tubas, and dance teams. Marvel at the peckies of a shirtless Batman. And learn about the musical that started it all for Ms. Parton, Hello Dolly.
Sing us a song, you’re the four-inch tall child-man… we’re trying to honor Billy Joel here. Although, he would probably be rolling around in his grave if he heard our new game, Songs From a Caesarian Restaurant. Surprisingly, that’s not the most horrific thing that happened this episode as the title might imply (but it’s a dude cat so it’s apparently okay). Perhaps equally horrifying are Austin’s tales of eating a sopping wet bagel and a burger with a spoon and no brad handles. Oh, and the Napoleon joke. But “while all is warm at Yosemite,” remember to check your cat with a UV light.
*speaking Britishly so here’s subtitles* In honour of our noble and first President (King) Benjamin Franklin, let us present the Hout Takes President's Day special! Producer’s note: I have no idea why Austin is writing “Britishly” for an American holiday special but let’s just go with it. We have gathered a merry collection of jests, a complaint or two regarding the water engine, and a tale of a bull and his fondness for a certain powder. Pray excuse us, kind sirs and madams, for any errors in our discourse of the Queen - Austin's wits are a wonder to behold, not a divining orb.
Austin: So here’s a story from A to Liz-Z. You wanna be more than just a model, you gotta marry. *record scratch* Producer: And we’re gonna stop right there… The most controversial part of this episode was SUPPOSED to be the Victoria Beckham pit of cluelessness Austin dug for himself, but this was recorded in February 2022. So when Austin said “what he wants, what he really really wants” was to do a hate episode on the British monarchy when the queen died, he did not intend to predict her actual demise. So please, British Royal Air Force, do not come after us, Cinnamon, Paprika, or Ginger.
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Oh shit, oh my, your brain cells might die! Listen to the only AUSTI award winning podcast, where you can join us in exploring the mysterious mind of our special guest, Austin, a true modern day Ben Franklin meets Taylor Swift, game show host, trailblazing chef, inventor of the 1800s horse, one-time gas pumper, atheist highway hater, defiler of the english language, aspiring future dictator of Utopiburgitron, and semi-professional hot taker. Nice Guy.
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