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Ask Mom Parenting with Sue Donnellan: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Sue Donnellan
Parenting Questions Keeping You Up? I’m Sue, a reformed yeller, mom of four including triplets, Montessori-trained parenting strategist, and someone who's spent 25+ years helping parents through the messy stuff. Tantrums, backtalk, screen battles, sibling fights, defiance, big emotions, co-parenting...we talk about all of it. Each episode gives you practical, actionable tools, real language, and simple ways to set boundaries, get more cooperation, and raise capable kids. Start with the episode that sounds most like your home. Hit play tonight and use it tomorrow.
Latest Episodes
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- 4 days ago12 min
When Consequences Stop Working With Kids, Try This Instead
You've taken away the phone. You've cut off screen time. You've tried every consequence you can think of. And your child STILL doesn't seem to care. Sound familiar?If traditional punishments have stopped working, the answer isn't necessarily a bigger consequence or a stricter rule. In this episode, I'm breaking down why kids sometimes shrug off punishments, what's really behind their resistance, and how to stop the endless power struggles. You'll learn how to replace reactive discipline with calm, confident leadership and consequences that actually teach responsibility instead of fueling more defiance.With tips such as establishing pre-planned related consequences, collaborating on expectations during calm moments, and handing your child the key to earn back privileges, I am breaking down what to do when consequences stop working and leaving you with this challenge: pick one recurring battle in your home, decide on a related consequence in advance, and try leading from neutral this week.If you’ve ever asked yourself:Why does taking away the phone or tablet not change my child's behavior?How do I stop getting into shouting matches and power struggles every single evening?What are related consequences and how do I use them instead of arbitrary punishments?How can I get my kids to follow rules without feeling like a prison warden?…this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn:Why kids push back harder when parents clamp down and how to recognize when a misbehaving child is actually a discouraged child.How to escape the trap of bouncing between extreme permissiveness and angry control by introducing calm, upfront collaboration.The difference between natural and related consequences, and how to create logical outcomes that actually teach life skills.Using phrases like "when you're ready" and "when you decide" to put the power back in your child's hands and end daily nagging.Parenting from a neutral place turns consequences from a weapon into a lesson, allowing your child to focus on the behavior rather than fighting you. If consistent implementation over a few weeks does not shift the dynamic, consider that the behavior may stem from an underlying connection gap, anxiety, or attention struggles.Resources:Read Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ckConnect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParentingJoin the Yell-free Parenting Facebook GroupWatch the show on YouTube!
- 2 weeks ago19 min
Why Adult Kids Cut Their Parents Off and How to Prevent It
Why do adult children cut off contact with their parents, and how can parents rebuild communication before or after estrangement happens?In this episode, I deep dive into why adult children cut off parents and explain how what looks like a sudden decision is often a long process of emotional distance. I walk through the difference between authority and influence, how defensiveness damages connection, and why setting boundaries is not the same as breaking off a relationship. You will learn actionable steps to take right now to build a safe, open relationship with your kids, whether they are three or thirty-three.With tips such as swapping defensive reactions for open curiosity, respecting boundaries without taking them as personal insults, and asking your kids brave questions about how you can do better, I am breaking down why adult children cut off parents and leaving you with this challenge: ask your child a question about what makes it hard to be around you, and listen to their answer without defending yourself or explaining your actions.If you’ve ever asked yourself:Why did my grown child stop calling or start pulling back from our family?Is my adult child setting a boundary with me, or are they cutting me off completely?How can I stop getting defensive when my child shares how I hurt them?What should I do if my adult child says they need space from me? …this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn:Understand why estrangement rarely happens overnight and learn how to recognize subtle warning signs like shortened phone calls or surface-level conversations.Shift your mindset from rigid control to relationship-building, recognizing that parental authority expires as children grow into adulthood.Learn how to treat an adult child’s boundary as a guide for keeping them in your life rather than a personal insult.Replace defensive statements with compassionate, curious responses that acknowledge your child's feelings without starting a debate.Discover why recruiting relatives, posting on social media, or showing up uninvited drives adult children further away, and learn what to do insteadIf you are experiencing complex family distress or mental health challenges, consider seeking guidance from a qualified family counselor or mental health professional.Resources:Join the Yell-Free Parenting Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/yellfreeparentingforexhaustedmomsRead Sue's book Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck at https://a.co/d/0gHO73tcConnect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParentingWatch the show on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@AskMomTheParentingPodcast
- Oct 7, 202612 min
Suicide Risk: What New Research Says Parents Should Watch For
What surprising emotional sign indicates an immediate suicide risk in teenagers?In this episode, we're diving into the new and groundbreaking Harvard-led research that changes how parents should watch for adolescent suicide risk signs. I explain why sudden agitation, restless energy, and intense outbursts (rather than just quiet sadness) can be a critical short-term warning signal during a mental health crisis. I'm breaking down how to spot these out-of-character behavioral spikes so you can step in safely and effectively.If you’ve ever asked yourself:Why is my usually calm teenager suddenly exploding over tiny, minor inconveniences?Is my child's extreme irritability just normal teenage moodiness, or a sign of a deeper mental health crisis?How do I directly ask my child if they are thinking about suicide without putting the idea in their head?What should I do immediately if I suspect my child is in distress and seeking relief from unbearable pain?…this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn:How a Harvard-led study of over 600 high-risk individuals revealed that agitation (feeling wound up, restless, and intensely distressed) is a primary short-term predictor of a suicide crisis.How to spot operational signs of agitation in your home, including disproportionate anger, pacing, physical restlessness, and sudden zero-to-100 emotional escalations.Why 90% of attempted survivors report seeking immediate relief from unbearable pain rather than wanting to die, making the crisis moment survivable and interruptible.Concrete steps parents can take when noticing a sudden spike, including asking direct questions, reducing access to lethal means, staying present, and contacting the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.Advice To Take With You:Do not wait to see if a sudden, out-of-character spike in agitation passes; treat intense restlessness and escalating outbursts as signals to ask direct questions and offer immediate, nonjudgmental support.If you suspect your child is in immediate danger or a mental health crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline right away.Share this episode with one other parent. You never know if they might need it.Resources: Fight Free Parenting CourseJoin the Yell-free Parenting Facebook GroupRead Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ckConnect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParentingWatch the show on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@AskMomTheParentingPodcast
- Sep 23, 202616 min
Simple Ways to Reconnect with Your Teen & Build Trust
How do I get my teenager to talk to me without pushing them away?In this episode, I unravel the real reasons behind teen distance, from biological brain shifts to the way we react as parents.I share practical ways to reconnect, including ditching the dramatic sit-downs, choosing more casual settings, and prioritizing truth over immediate correction. We’ll look at how small shifts in communication can help rebuild genuine trust with your adolescent.And I’ll leave you with one challenge: create just one moment this week with your teen where you bring zero agenda.If you’ve ever asked yourself:Why does my teenager shut down or pull away every time I try to talk to them?How can I address bad behavior or mistakes without destroying my child’s trust?What can I control when teenage biology and independence take over?…this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn:What is actually going on in your teen's brain, and what portion of their behavior you can actually influence.Understanding why space is normal, but broken trust doesn't have to be.How to trade heavy "talks" for low-pressure settings, and why asking "Help me understand what happened" yields truth before correction.Parenting a teen isn't about controlling their independence, but rather managing your own reactions to keep communication lines open. By replacing interrogation with curiosity, you protect your bond and guide them through their mistakes safely.Resources: Fight Free Parenting CourseJoin the Yell-free Parenting Facebook GroupRead Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ckConnect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParentingWatch the show on YouTube!
- Sep 9, 202623 min
Yelled at Your Child? 3 Ways to Repair It
Can I repair my relationship with my child after losing my temper and yelling?If you’ve ever lost your temper, yelled at your kids, and immediately wondered, Did I just damage my relationship with my child? this episode is for you.I’m breaking down what to do after you yell at your child, how to apologize without over-explaining or making excuses, and why the way you handle the moments after you lose your cool can make a meaningful difference.We’ll also talk about parenting guilt, what real parent-child repair looks like, and how to take responsibility for your behavior without getting stuck in shame or defensiveness.If you’ve ever asked yourself:How do I apologize to my child even though they were pushing every one of my buttons?What can I do to change the way my child experiences me after a high-tension moment?How do I tailor my repair approach for a young child versus an independent teenager?…this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn:How to deliver a clean, effective apology without conditional statements, and why you should save the "how do we fix this next time" conversation for a completely separate moment.How children sense when the household atmosphere resets to safety, warmth, and a reassuring "we're still us" connection after going through a moment that felt hard.Tailoring your repair strategy—whether that means offering a hug to a toddler, shooting hoops side-by-side with a school-aged kid, or giving a teenager space until they're ready to check back in.Real relationship repair isn't about being a perfect parent, it's about stepping up as a calm and intentional leader in your home. Practicing consistent repair creates a foundation of trust that carries into their adulthood, transforming everyday mistakes into powerful lessons in empathy and resilience.Watch the show on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571Resources:Start here: Fight Free Parenting CourseJoin the Yell-free Parenting Facebook GroupRead Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ckConnect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting
- Aug 26, 202633 min
Teaching Kids About Money: The Value Lessons Most Miss
Is your kid good with money, or just good at getting money from you?In this episode, we dive into the right way to give kids money and the crucial lessons about value that most kids never learn. From turning back rubs into earning opportunities, to the ever-changing going rate for picking up dog poop, to using Whole Foods cookies to teach spontaneity and generosity, I’m sharing practical ways to help kids understand how money actually works so they can become more financially capable along the way.If you’ve ever asked yourself:How do I stop handing out money just because it’s Friday?What’s the difference between routine family expectations and value-added earning?How can I teach my kids about spending choices and investing before they hit their 20s?…this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn:How value is created, why kids shouldn't get paid just for existing, and how factors like supply, demand, and timing impact earnings.Why spending their own money feels completely different than spending yours, and how to step back so kids experience real financial consequences.Introducing kids to investing, "free money," dividend-producing funds, and family-friendly financial apps like Greenlight and BusyKid.Instead of giving handouts or fixed allowances for basic responsibilities, teach kids that money is exchanged for value-added initiative and guide them to manage, spend, and grow their own funds early. Doing so gives them the real-world experience needed to make thoughtful financial choices. Watch the show on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@askmomparenting571Resources:Greenlight, the money and safety app built with families in mind. With Greenlight’s debit card and app, parents can pay allowance, assign chores, and help their kids learn to earn, save, spend wisely, and invest.Join the Yell-free Parenting Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/yellfreeparentingforexhaustedmoms/ Read Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: https://shorturl.at/lrcF2Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting: http://instagram.com/askmomparenting
- Aug 12, 202624 min
How to Motivate an Unmotivated Child | 3 Strategies to Try Tonight
What if the key to motivating your child is to stop trying to motivate them?The reality is that motivation grows when kids learn one simple truth: What I do now affects what I get later.In this episode, I pull back the curtain on why trying to manufacture ambition in your kids will drive you crazy, and how shifting the structure around them puts responsibility squarely in their hands.I am sharing practical examples from setting up a family structure where responsibilities come first to using a child's dream to anchor daily habits. I break down how to handle power struggles, screen time battles, and constant nagging without lecturing, so you can help your child build true accountability.If you’ve ever asked yourself:How do I get my kid to care without having to invent a new lecture every week?What can I say instead of "get off your game and do your homework" to avoid an argument?How do I step back and hand responsibility over when it's so much faster to just do it myself?…this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn:How to reverse the traditional order of your day so that responsibilities are completed before kids unlock screens, freedom, and fun.How connecting today's effort to the bigger goal helps your child discover their own "why" and how you can frame daily choices around the future they say they want.Why transitioning from constant reminding to handing complete ownership back to your child will help them build true capability.Motivation isn't something you can force; it naturally grows when you set clear boundaries around earned access and let your child experience the real link between today's choices and tomorrow's freedom. When we stop over-functioning and step into the passenger seat, kids gain the space to step up and own their lives.Resources:Join the Yell-free Parenting Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/yellfreeparentingforexhaustedmoms/ Read Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: https://shorturl.at/lrcF2Connect with Sue on Instagram at @AskMomParenting
- Jul 29, 202628 min
Raising Kids Who Make Good Decisions in a Distracted World
"Good judgment doesn't suddenly appear when they turn 18. It has to be built in with small everyday moments long before the stakes become higher."In this episode, we talk about how to raise kids who can think critically, pause, and make wise choices in a fast-paced, soundbite-driven world.With stories like my son's sudden college decision over a diner breakfast and real talk about social media algorithms, teenage peer pressure, and empathy , I am breaking down how to give your kids actionable tools for lifelong decision-making.If you’ve ever asked yourself:How do I stop my child from taking one headline, clip, or opinion as absolute fact?How can I teach my teenager to look at the long-term impact of their choices instead of just seeking immediate gratification?What can I do to help my kids slow down their judgment and show empathy when dealing with conflict?…this one’s for you.What You’ll Learn:How to teach kids the 360-degree thinking process for making strong decisions.How real-life experiences build the wisdom needed for good choices.How practicing empathy helps kids pause and remove judgment before deciding.By staying shockproof as a parent and teaching your kids to mentally roll around in a decision from every angle, you help them develop strong discernment and trust their own gut. Providing low-stakes real-world experiences and encouraging empathy turns fast reactions into thoughtful, lifelong judgment.Resources:Join the Yell-free Parenting Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/yellfreeparentingforexhaustedmoms/Read Sue's book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck: shorturl.at/lrcF2 Connect with Sue on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/askmomparenting
About Ask Mom Parenting with Sue Donnellan
Parenting Questions Keeping You Up? I’m Sue, a reformed yeller, mom of four including triplets, Montessori-trained parenting strategist, and someone who's spent 25+ years helping parents through the messy stuff. Tantrums, backtalk, screen battles, sibling fights, defiance, big emotions, co-parenting...we talk about all of it. Each episode gives you practical, actionable tools, real language, and simple ways to set boundaries, get more cooperation, and raise capable kids. Start with the episode that sounds most like your home. Hit play tonight and use it tomorrow.
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