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by Theology of the Body Institute
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- 1 weeks ago54 min
Crying through the liturgical year, Standing firm on chastity, and Healing from a boyfriend’s hidden lust. | ACW384
Questions answered this episode:“I cry every Christmas season when I reflect on the baby Jesus. Like if I imagine myself holding him. And it's not just at Christmas, I've also cried during Advent, Lent, Holy Week, especially the Easter Vigil, Easter Sunday, and Pentecost Sunday. Sometimes I cry more than the prophet Jeremiah. Do you think I'm experiencing the gift of tears or just something else entirely?”"I feel passionately about living out the teachings of Theology of the Body in my life and future marriage. I’m finding a dilemma that many men, Catholic men, want to break off a relationship when they find out I don’t want to have sex or engage in any acts where orgasms are sought separate from sex open to life in marriage. I’ve tried to explain it is about making love and loving one another in the way God loves. But I haven’t been able to get any man to see the beauty and desire this with me, and I’m starting to get discouraged. I’m trusting in God’s plan, but I’m finding temptation to put up with occasional sin in my marriage, hoping that the holy sex will change the man’s heart one day. Can you give me advice?"“I feel heartbroken. I found out that my boyfriend's pornography use and social media lust, which I previously thought was in the past, had relapsed and continued throughout our relationship for years without me knowing. He has now stopped and is almost free of this issue. What can I do to make this pain go away? I feel sad to think of him looking at other women that way. How can I still feel like our marriage will be special in that way, if while he was dating me, he chose to look at other women without me knowing? I just want this pain to go away so I can move forward in our relationship without feeling like I won't be enough for him or comparing myself to these women."Resources:TOB I: Head & Heart Immersion Course July 14-19, 2026Course ScheduleIgnite Hope Discerning Marriage Retreat Info---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
- 2 weeks ago50 min
Proving Recovery from Porn to a Partner, Re-evaluating Male Shirtlessness & The Ethics of Menstrual Cups | ACW383
Questions answered this episode:I want to fully understand Theology of the Body but struggle due to a history with porn addiction. Exposed at 13, I fell away from the Church and entered an ill-advised marriage where porn use was encouraged, ending in divorce. Now, by the grace of God, it’s been several months since I’ve slipped. Resources like the Matt Fradd show, Internal Family Systems, and Covenant Eyes have helped immensely. I’ve met an amazing woman, but when I told her about my addiction, she expressed concern that I haven't done enough to address it. How do I know if I’ve done enough? What resources would you recommend?My fiancé and I have been discerning swim modesty, particularly for men. I love swimming and see many modest options for women, but what about men? I felt like seeing my fiancé without his shirt for the first time was a big deal, as a level of nakedness would be revealed that hadn’t been before. We discerned him wearing a swim shirt, as I want to wait to see this nakedness until marriage. He has struggled with it, and I didn't want to force it. Should men have a level of modesty and cover up while swimming, or is it modest for men to swim shirtless since that’s acceptable in our culture?Are there any feminine hygiene products that are not acceptable? Tampons are required to go into the body, and menstrual cups or disks even require a woman to actually reach her hand up her vagina to insert and to remove. This feels a little bit like the line towards masturbation is being pushed.Resources:Way of Beauty Course with Bill DonaghyCourse ScheduleFreedom CoachingTOB Institute StoreJohn Paul II Healing CenterDesert Stream Ministries---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
- 3 weeks ago1h 6m
Healing Sexual Performance Wounds, Wearing “Sexy” Attire in Marriage & How Find God’s Gaze | ACW382
Questions answered this episode:I have a question about Second Chronicles, chapter seven, verse fourteen, which says: 'If my people, who are called by my name, humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' My question is: how do we seek God’s face? I hear it all the time, but I’m not sure exactly how to do it. Is it through adoration, reading scripture, or sitting silently in His presence?"My wife and I have been married for 11 years with six children. Before we met, she had a four-year romantic relationship that was not chastened. Through the Lord’s work, we lived a call to chastity in our engagement and marriage. While there has been healing from her past wounds, we realize more is needed. When we married, my wife was shocked that she had less desire for sex than in her previous relationship. We also struggle for her to reach climax, which wasn't a problem then. This leaves me feeling unworthy, incapable, and unloved, despite her deep love for me. We’ve tried applying Theology of the Body to our struggle, but we don’t know how.Can you talk about lingerie or cute short dresses only used within the privacy of a husband and wife in Catholic teaching? I always thought about it as something beautiful that looks good and that I would love to wear, but not outside—something that my husband could enjoy between us privately. I’m worried it is not good to wear anything ‘sexy’ or short, flattering on the body, and clearly inviting even for your husband. I don’t know if this is scrupulosity or fear that it will be bad for our marriage, for him, or for me. For context, I’m not married yet but soon will be and I’m preparing excitedly.Resources:Nacho Libre VideoTOB1 CourseCourse ScheduleLingerie PodcastAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
- 4 weeks ago52 min
Finding Beauty in a Drooling Pope, the Sexual Desire of a Single Woman, and a Widow's Exhausting Loneliness. | ACW381
Questions answered this episode:As a teacher of Theology of the Body, I was presented with a picture of Pope John Paul II by a former student. Before seeing it, I hoped for an image of his younger, energetic self—skiing, hiking, or writing. However, it was a close-up of him as an elderly man, hunched in a chair. I felt a wave of disappointment, realizing I struggle to see the beauty in the entirety of life and the aging body. I know I have healing to do in my heart; how do I begin to see the whole life cycle as a gift?As a single woman, is it wrong to have sexual desires? I don’t think about men lustfully; it’s more of a deep ache to be loved, married, and have sex. At random times, I wish I had someone to hold, caress, and embrace in the marital act. My body also shows physical signs of arousal, especially during certain times in my cycle—perhaps God’s way of giving me a foretaste of the New Jerusalem. I’ve tried offering my desires to God in prayer, but I still feel this ache in my heart and body. I am 60 years old and have been a widow for eight years. My husband and I were looking forward to a new chapter of intimacy after our children moved out, but then he died. In my anger and grief, I invited a deviant sexual spirit upon myself, feeling it was ridiculous to live without sex or marriage at my age. Though I have since repented, I feel heartbroken and betrayed by God. I feel I was created to be a wife, yet I am exhausted from being alone with no mate in sight. I simply want to know: why?---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.orgResources:Join our Patron Community!Love & Responsibility YouTube Series
- Apr 13, 20261h 2m
Joyfully Surrender to a Crying Infant, Is God In Vulgar Art, & Trading Pornography For True Intimacy. | ACW380
Questions answered this episode:I’m a first-time mom to an almost six-month-old, and motherhood is both the most beautiful and difficult thing I’ve ever done. I struggle with knowing what it means to lay down my life as a parent. In other relationships, we’re taught to set healthy boundaries and ensure our needs are met, but in motherhood, even my basic needs—sleep, exercise, seeing friends—feel like sacrifices. The other night, a failed attempt at extra sleep left me frustrated with God, my baby, my husband, and myself for not sacrificing more joyfully. I genuinely love my daughter, but how do I truly learn to joyfully surrender? Why does the Lord ask so much of me?I know Christopher has mentioned in the past that music and movies can be a pathway to feeling the Lord’s love and grace. But what about movies and music that are vulgar or sexually explicit? Is this holy in its own way, or is it something that should be avoided?In a YouTube video, I heard Christopher distinguish between "being gay" and experiencing same-sex attraction. I began to understand that my sexual dimension doesn't define my whole person, yet that "something more" has become invisible due to pornography. I mostly feel desire, longing, and conflict. I felt that if I fought my inclinations, there would be nothing left of me; need for love and pleasure became so intertwined I couldn't distinguish them. I viewed my lack of a physical partner as proof I’m unworthy of love. After much pain, I’m asking if there’s another way to fill this void—one that seeks deep, soulful closeness rather than just pleasure.Resources:U2 Scars SongCourse Schedule---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
- Apr 6, 202654 min
Does God Command Mutilation?, Struggling with feeling loved because of weight, & Why is Mary the Star of the Sea? | ACW379
Questions answered this episode:In Matthew 5:30, Jesus says, 'And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you...' In the spirit of the theology of the body, the idea of cutting off one's own hand seems like a gross insult to God's image in which we are made. I can understand amputation for medical reasons, but I cannot help but think that sin is a matter of will, so no kind of concupiscence could merit amputation. But in believing that, I would seem to be going against Christ's guidance here. How are we to understand this commission to go so far as to irrevocably alter the body in service of mitigating concupiscence?I struggle to believe that I can be loved because of the way I look. Growing up, I'm told that no man will ever love me because I'm fat and that in order to be lovable I have to be skinny. I was diagnosed with PCOS, which explains the uncontrollable weight gain. I do my best to take care of myself but my body does not lose weight so easily. Recently, there has been a guy who has been flirting with me, but I have a hard time believing he's interested because how can someone love me looking the way I look? I don't know what to do or how to change my concept of myself.Why is Mary called Stella Maris?Resources:Discerning Marriage Podcast with Elizabeth BusbyAre you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning MarriageList of trusted counselors & psychologistsAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages
- Mar 30, 202642 min
Overcoming Marian barriers, Reviving a "dead battery" heart, & Navigating the morality of “life-saving sterilization” | ACW378
Questions answered this episode:I came into the Church about three years ago, and my fiancé is entering this Easter. He quickly came to know Mary, but it has been taking me some time. I buy her flowers and pray the Rosary, but I don’t seem to connect with her. In John, Jesus says, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' Yet there is the saying 'to Jesus through Mary.' How can I know her?"The girl who I thought I would marry had suddenly broken up with me. I'm happy to report that the Lord's healing has been present, and He has worked a lot of good in my heart. However, I find that my romantic desire is seemingly broken. After two or three dates, I feel like my heart just gives out. Like a battery in a TV remote—it comes back on for a little while and then it goes back out. How can I cultivate eros again? I know that I’m supposed to feel it.My husband and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I am now navigating perimenopause and have been diagnosed with potentially dangerous ovarian cysts, adenomyosis and endometriosis. Doctors have suggested medically inducing menopause to stop ovarian function and potentially stop the progression of these conditions. My husband made the remark that inducing menopause artificially is a way of making me intentionally sterile. I am now torn by the idea that I would be committing mortal sin.Resources:🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
- Mar 23, 202655 min
My Mom Hates Her Body, Surprise Baby Shame, & Jesus as Bridegroom Feels Wrong | ACW377
Questions answered this episode:Growing up, my mom has always talked poorly about her body. As a kid, I remember her asking my dad if other women were attractive and making demeaning comments about women who weighed more than her. Now I’m engaged, and as she chooses a dress, she keeps saying she’ll lose 10 pounds and worries because my future mother-in-law is thinner. She didn’t have parents who delighted in her and often seeks reassurance from us. Should I keep saying, “You’re beautiful,” or is there something better I could say?My wife and I just found out we’re pregnant with our third baby—only four months after our second—and we’re only 25. We’ve worked with NFP coaches and followed different methods, yet here we are. We would have chosen abstinence if we knew it wouldn’t work, but it’s too late now. I feel anxious and ashamed, like I didn’t sacrifice enough. People around us don’t understand this lifestyle, and I feel tempted to hide the pregnancy. How do I talk to others about this, and how do I embrace this child with love?I struggle with the idea of Jesus as the bridegroom. I’ve heard you talk about it, but I still don’t understand. In one episode, a woman in abusive marriages longed for Jesus instead, and you said she could offer her suffering for others. I don’t know her situation, but the Church teaches against divorce, so how does that fit? Isn’t marriage about leading your spouse to heaven? I also struggle with the idea of not being married in heaven. I don’t want to offend God—I just don’t understand.Resources:Course ScheduleGet 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body📕 Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
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About Ask Christopher West
Since the early 90's, author and speaker Christopher West has devoted his life to spreading John Paul II's revolutionary teaching on human life, love, and sexuality: The Theology of the Body. His beloved wife Wendy, mother of their five children, has served as his confidante, friend, and support through these long years of ministry. In this podcast, Christopher and Wendy combine their wisdom to tackle the toughest questions dealing with vocation, sexuality, marriage, and the Catholic faith.
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