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by Theology of the Body Institute
Since the early 90's, author and speaker Christopher West has devoted his life to spreading John Paul II's revolutionary teaching on human life, love, and sexuality: The Theology of the Body. His beloved wife Wendy, mother of their five children, has served as his confidante, friend, and support through these long years of ministry. In this podcast, Christopher and Wendy combine their wisdom to tackle the toughest questions dealing with vocation, sexuality, marriage, and the Catholic faith.
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- 3 days ago1h 9m
Should I Keep My Chastity Streak?, Why Does Virginity Sound Holier Than My Marriage?, and Is Sex Okay When We Feel Maxed Out? | ACW395
Questions answered this episode:I'm a young man currently discerning the priesthood and applying to enter the seminary next year. For most of my life, I've struggled with lust and masturbation. Even though I'm in control today, I know this is a cross I have to bear for the rest of my life. What is your opinion on day counting or keeping streaks as an additional way of motivating myself to stay pure and chaste? Second, is this journey of growing in chastity for the priesthood perhaps a way for God to actually prepare me for marriage and to treat a future wife rightly and well?I’ve been doing the 33-day consecration to St. Joseph, and I’m on day 13. I’m deeply disturbed by the readings today, especially ones that talk about the virginity of St. Joseph and even the virginity of St. John the Apostle. Somehow, in the entire text, it gives the idea that remaining a virgin is somehow better, more pure, and more chaste than being married and trying for children. I understand why Mary was virgin, at least a little bit now, mostly because of TOB. But the fact that St. Joseph and even St. John the Apostle are virgins simply because it is pure, and God will only give Mary to a virgin, somehow discourages me greatly from performing my marital duties to my husband. Why is being a virgin pure, and marriage not pure?My husband and I have four children, ages six, four, two, and almost nine months. We both work full-time and have always been open to life. But at the moment, we do really feel at capacity. I am still exclusively breastfeeding the baby. We understand the church's teaching on contraception, and we're not using contraception. But I would like to know what the church teaches on sex in a marriage when you do not feel open to life in the season that you're in.Love & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt Fradd
- 1 weeks ago46 min
Deep sea diving into your spouse's heart, Theology of a newborn's first cry, and Financial help for vasectomy reversal | ACW394
Questions answered this episode:1. You talk on your podcast about how a spouse is vast and deep interiorly, using the analogy of deep sea diving. If you commit to exploring that interior life, you'll never be bored. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. Recently, some things from our pre-marriage days came up. That hurt deeply, but helped us grow deeper together. The past seems like the most obvious place to go deep sea diving, but we don't want to constantly hash out past events. How can we apply your analogy to the present and future? What does this practically look like?2. I was recently watching a video of a doctor trying to save a newborn's life since he was not breathing. Someone said in the comments, "That cry was all I wanted to hear." That led me to ask myself: why is crying the first thing we do when we are born? And why is that cry basically vital in order to know the baby's okay? Do you think that has something theological to tell us? Is it like some cry of the heart that's manifested through our body as we come out of our mother's womb?3. I had a vasectomy before I converted, and now would very much like to get it reversed. Obviously, the cost is a huge hurdle, and I understand that you have helped many people find the resources to have this done. I'm wondering how I can achieve this. Thank you in advance, and God bless you for the incredible work that you do.TOB2: Into the Deep Course on August 2-7 2026THE TRUTH AND THE LIE book pre-orderReach out to Michele michele@tobinstitute.orgClick here if you’d like to make a gift to the St. John Paul II Legacy FoundationTOB1 Online + TOB2 in person package.---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
- 2 weeks ago50 min
Finding a spiritual director without replacing your spouse, TOB & hunting, and Panic attack during the marital | ACW393
Questions answered this episode:1. I've been married for over 10 years. My spouse and I have a good solid faith filled relationship. Sometimes, however, the thought of having a spiritual director sounds interesting to me. I just wondered what spiritual direction looks like for a married individual. Part of me feels like having a spiritual director would take the place of sharing deep things with my spouse. How can spiritual direction build upon an already solid marriage without detracting from it?2. Does theology the body teach us anything about hunting? I'm an avid deer hunter. I respect the lives of animals. But I also know that God commanded man to have authority and care for the animals, allowing us to eat meat. However, I feel this tug at my heart in regards to hunting that I didn't feel before. I've come to realize that taking the life of an animal can be profound and treated with respect. I've hunted with guys who not feel this respect. They have more of a warlike mentality. Do you have any thoughts for me?3. I'm a licensed clinical social worker working through sexual issues with a client. The wife reports they were taught TOB in college that they should not end the sexual encounter until the wife has an orgasm. The issue is that the encounter is going really long; the husband is becoming frustrated and tired, and the wife will often have a panic attack due to the stress while trying to climax. They are devoutly Catholic and want to follow what the church teaches. What would you tell someone experiencing psychological or emotional distress during the sexual encounter, according to Theology of the Body?TOB1 Online + TOB2 in person package.Ignite Hope Discerning Marriage Retreat Info---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
- 3 weeks ago59 min
Spontaneous prayer with your boyfriend, The raw truth about fornication, and What to do when making love hurts. | ACW392
Questions answered this episode:I'm currently dating a good Catholic man. I feel we may be called to marriage, and a deepening of our prayer life together may help us better discern that call. We pray the rosary together every night, which has been a tremendous blessing. But I feel the need to expose my heart in prayer with him in a way that the rosary does not fully allow. I was not raised in a family that prayed aloud, so I'm not sure how to start this practice with him. What are some practical ways dating Catholic couples can deepen their prayer life together?Body is self, inseparable from soul because we are a body-soul composite. Fornication is a real bodily union, which must mean total union of persons. Doesn't union mean self-gift? But I thought real self-gift can only happen in marriage. I thought for a while in fornication it was less of a gift of the body and more like giving access to the body, but that would seem too little in light of 1 Corinthians chapter 6 verse 16: "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, the two will become one flesh."I converted two years ago after listening to your episode, and I've now been married for two months to a wonderful Catholic man. We focused on second virginity, and at first, everything about our marital union was incredible. Then it became difficult for me to reach climax at the same time as him. Even though afterward he tries to help me, I'm not able to, and I end up feeling upset and in pain. It has been very draining and sometimes makes me not want to have sexual relations at all, thinking about the emotional toil and potential pain. Do you have any encouragement for this frustrated wife?TOB2: Into the Deep Course on August 2-7 2026Course Schedule for other coursesThirsting for Prayer by Jacques PhilippeTime for God by Jacques Philippe JPII’s Letter on the Rosary---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
- Jun 29, 202656 min
Were We Really Married That First Night?, My Boyfriend's Secret Lust Broke My Heart, and Should Boys Still Be Circumcised? | ACW391
Questions answered this episode:Suppose a couple marries in the Catholic Church but mutually agrees to use contraception initially, intending to have children later. On their wedding night, they engage in marital relations. After seven years, they stop using contraception and have two children. In this situation, would their marriage be considered consummated from the wedding night, even though they were not open to life then, or would consummation occur later when they open themselves to having children? Additionally, if they return to using contraception after their second child, how does this affect the understanding of their marriage's consummation and integrity?My heart aches because I’ve struggled with my body image since youth, fueled by social media and boys rating girls. I don't have those drastic curvy proportions guys find ideal, and I feared I’d never be a man’s first choice. When I met my boyfriend, he made me feel like the only girl in the world, and I finally started loving my body. However, I recently found out he was hiding secret lustful habits. I’m shocked and my past pain is back. How can I ever feel beautiful or get married now? I just want to wear loose clothing and make my body disappear.Is it still important for boys to be circumcised now that Jesus has come to establish the new law? I've heard arguments for both sides, and I'm confused.THE TRUTH AND THE LIE book pre-orderMagnifica Humanitas Forum*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.orgGood News About Sex & MarriageTHEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR BEGINNERS - UPDATED, REVISED & EXPANDED 2018 (PAPERBACK)
- Jun 22, 20261h 10m
Pre-wedding playfulness feels like pressure, How can a man be called bride?, and Processing my father’s suicide. | ACW390
Questions answered this episode:I’m engaged and will be married in August 2026. My fiancé and I both have sexual pasts, but we have waited and are continuing to wait to have sex for the first time in marriage. This has been very difficult. My fiancé has gotten frustrated with my response when he is trying to be playfully sexy. I don't want to venture too far down that path as it has gotten us too close to sex in the past. However, he fears that if I'm not open to being playful now, I won't be in marriage either. Truthfully, I don't think I understand what kind of playfulness is appropriate in marriage, and I'm starting to feel pressure to live up to some fantasy when we get married.I've been wrestling with one thing you said about gender and how only men can be priests. The context, from what I recall, was that only men can be priests because the priest is the groom, or is acting as Christ in the mass, who is the groom. That makes the congregation the bride. If women can't be priests because they are women, how can a man be a bride in the congregation?Five years ago, my dad committed suicide. The experience left me in shock, and I still feel that shock today. At the time, I felt the need to be strong for my mom and sister, holding everything together. Now, I sense God is inviting me to revisit this wound and allow myself to grieve more deeply. However, I find it very difficult to access my emotions; I want to cry, but I can't. Recently, through learning more about TOB, I've found myself struggling to understand how to interpret what happened, especially in relation to the dignity of the body and suffering.Theology of the Body and Art: The Way of Beauty CourseCourse Schedule for other coursesLitanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry CreteScripture For Your Inner Outcasts Podcast---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
- Jun 15, 20261h 13m
Dark fantasies threaten marriage, Did Jesus have a body before birth?, and Vaginismus fears | ACW389
Questions answered this episode:Hi Christopher and Wendy, this is Matt. I wrote previously regarding a season of deep relational pain and sexual brokenness in our marriage. First, we have to share a miracle. The sacrifice you suggested—asking the global community to fast for our healing—brought a new wine of healing and self-giving love that seemed impossible. We're now in a golden hour of intense reconnection. However, as this fire wakes up, we've discovered deeper roots of lustful fantasies. We're committed to total transparency to avoid past secrecy, but we're struggling with the prudence of sharing. How do we navigate total transparency without that sharing becoming over-arousal or fueling the concupiscence we're trying to purify? We aren't sure how to face our desires without being taken by them.My question is about something that I've been thinking about for a while. I'm thinking about transfiguration. If Jesus has always been part of the salvation plan, and always exists, was the true bodily reality of Jesus what the apostles saw that day at the transfiguration? It makes me wonder, did Jesus have a bodily nature before the incarnation and entering into history? How? Or did his complete and true nature begin at that moment in history? Am I understanding it wrong?I'm in my 20s and about to get engaged to a wonderful man. We've been working through your Love and Responsibility series together, which has been a blessing. However, I struggle with vaginismus, mainly traced back to a traumatic experience at the doctor's office when I was 14. I'm starting physical therapy soon, but this is a major place of fear for my future marriage. How do we talk about this appropriately before marriage and work through it together? What advice would you have for us in dealing with this woundedness? How do I heal physically and spiritually to cultivate openness towards the Lord's love and my future spouse?Theology of the Body and Art: The Way of Beauty CourseCourse Schedule for other coursesLove & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt Fradd
- Jun 8, 202656 min
Is Latin Mass superior?, He wants me in revealing clothes, and Coming back to Church risks my marriage. | ACW388
Questions answered this episode:I just wondered about Latin Masses in the Catholic Church. I live in the United States, and no one speaks Latin here, so I wondered what the draw is to go to Latin Masses. It feels like in Catholic circles those who go to Latin Masses are considered more Catholic. If God made our bodies and speaks to us through our bodies, shouldn't it be more helpful to go to a mass that we can understand using our sense of hearing? Or am I just not as far along in my faith life as those who appreciate Latin Mass?My husband and I have been married for almost four years. We're both Catholic, but my husband doesn't think I look beautiful unless I wear tight, revealing clothes. We struggle a lot when he suggests I wear something with a lower neckline or that's skin tight. I'm not comfortable wearing stuff like that, but he feels that I'm not trying to be beautiful for him, even if I wear nice, slightly more modest clothes. How can I love my husband and not be hurt by his wanting me to wear more revealing clothes? And how can we find a middle ground here?My wife and I were married outside the Catholic Church. For the past eight years, I've not practiced my faith. However, as of late, I have had a deep and real call back to the church. In some way, my wife was blindsided by this decision, and not thrilled. I've taken a step back from re-entering the church out of fear of conflict between my wife and me. This has made for some serious challenges in our marriage. Is it sinful for us to come together in our nuptial embrace outside of the church where I've found the truth to be? Is our marriage invalid for this same reason?Resources:TOB I Course: Head & Heart Immersion - Summer of 2026Course Schedule for other coursesPierced by Beauty: Encountering God In the Flesh Mexico RetreatLove & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt FraddGood News About Sex & MarriageOur Bodies Tells God's Story Book---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? Join our Patron Community!🔥 Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 List of trusted counselors & psychologists*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org
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About Ask Christopher West
Since the early 90's, author and speaker Christopher West has devoted his life to spreading John Paul II's revolutionary teaching on human life, love, and sexuality: The Theology of the Body. His beloved wife Wendy, mother of their five children, has served as his confidante, friend, and support through these long years of ministry. In this podcast, Christopher and Wendy combine their wisdom to tackle the toughest questions dealing with vocation, sexuality, marriage, and the Catholic faith.
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