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by David and Marilynn Chadwick with Jenn Houston
Begin your day with a "Moment of Hope." This podcast is a compliment to David and Marilynn's weekday devotional - providing deeper insights and encouragement. Featuring Jenn Houston.
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by David Chadwick We husbands are often "Captain Oblivious" with our wives. We live disconnected from them. They often have insights that could help us in many different areas. They are often transmitting signals to us. But, like radio waves needing a transmitter for sounds to be heard, we don't have our transmitters turned on. And if they are on, we have our dials set just a few numbers away from their signals. We only hear garbled gurgles and static sounds. We husbands need to learn from our wives. We need to seek and respect their opinions. This respect comes more easily when we know them well. Through the years, I've learned four different ways to know Marilynn well. They have helped me hear her transmissions. They have aided me in seeking her input. They have allowed me to clearly discern what she may be feeling and how I can digest what she may be trying to say to me. I know she has my best interests at heart. I know she wants my best. I know she desires my success. If so, and we are one flesh, wouldn't it be wise for me to learn better how to know her well? These four ways are encapsulated in the acronym S-E-A-L. Think of them as ways to "seal the deal" with your wife—ways to know her well. After all, the better you know her, the more you'll value her opinion. And the closer you will become. She will feel honored. And when you finally seal the deal, the two of you truly become one—which is God's goal for all marriages. Here it is: S—Study her life E—Empathize with her A—Ask for her opinion L—Listen to what she says I would imagine that several things on my list are also on yours. I'd also imagine that you'd have other items that I don't have. What's on the list isn't nearly as important as the fact that there is a list. Just make sure you have one. We husbands need to S-E-A-L the deal. Study your wife. Empathize with her. Ask and respect her opinions. Listen to what she says. Doing so will help you to know her well. It will prove your desire to honor her. And the two of you become more and more one flesh. This series is adapted from David Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!
by David Chadwick We accepted the call to our first church in 1980. For our first year in ministry, Marilynn told me she wanted to get our home secure and learn what it's like to be a preacher's wife. Fortunately, the wonderful people of that church never placed any expectations upon her. They simply wanted her to be her! That's what she did. She was always by my side, as a gracious wife and helper. In those early years, when this church was small, we were everything from the youth leaders to pastoral counselors to Bible teachers to prayer leaders. We were involved in everything that went on in the church—mostly because we had to be. Yet I knew that underneath her servant's heart laid a greatly gifted woman of God—gifted in ways I wasn't. I knew she had much to offer the world. She had already sacrificed much to follow me. Therefore, I wanted to encourage her gifts, passions, and goals in life. Encouraging Marilynn's gifts was all about releasing her God-given potential. As her husband, her life partner in marriage, I was in a better position than anyone else to make that happen. Have you ever thought about that as well—that you as a husband are the one person who is most able to encourage your wife's gifts? God has gifted her in special ways—in fact, she's gifted in areas that you aren't. God brought you two together because he knew you could help bring the best out of each other. Biblically, husbands are called to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25). In my opinion, one of the best ways you can demonstrate the love of Jesus to your wife is to help her launch her gifts. Here is one final point of advice: As you encourage your wife to discover her passions, try to find those areas in which you share similar giftedness. When you do, if possible, try to find ministry and service opportunities you can do together. These experiences will draw you closer like nothing else—just like the mission trips that Marilynn and I do together. I pray you will encourage your wife to discover and use her unique gifts. I pray especially you'll be able to find mutual areas of giftedness through which you can serve together. That will especially help to draw you closer together. And make you one. This series is adapted from David Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!
by David Chadwick Dudley Do-Right was a cartoon character. Regularly, he bumbled and fumbled his way toward heroic success. Often after he'd delivered the damsel in distress, she would coyly sigh and say to him, "My hero." Some might suggest that the saved damsel's praise of Dudley's heroism is misogynistic drivel. I don't think so. I think most women yearn for their husbands to be heroes. They want to believe their husbands are willing to sacrificially die for them as Jesus did for the church (Ephesians 5:25). That's true love—not some syrupy, ever-changing feeling, but the willingness to die so the other can live. Jesus said there is no greater love than that of laying down one's life for another (John 15:13). This type of self-effacing, sacrificial heroism enhances the wife's respect toward her husband. And respect is what a man longs for from his wife (Ephesians 5:33). Similarly, she yearns to see his heroism take strong stands. She wants to see him as a mighty, ferocious warrior, dressed for battle, someone doggedly fighting for truth, justice, goodness, fairness, and righteousness. These strong stands may be reflected in a stand for all life—in and outside the womb. Or perhaps it's a commitment against sex trafficking. Or maybe it's being an outspoken advocate for racial equality. Or perhaps it's a dogged stand for justice for the disenfranchised and marginalized in our world. Maybe it's working to ensure all have clean water and food. Or perhaps it's a desire to reach the world for Christ. Wives hunger for husbands who are heroes. These kinds of strong convictions honor our wives. They solidify respect in their hearts. I'm convinced that heroism, humility, forgiveness, and bridled power are some of the character traits most wives desire from their husbands. When carried out, they honor the wife. And that, in turn, increases the wife's respect for her husband. The end result is a greater oneness between them. Husbands, be a man of God. Pursue his heart. And watch your wife's respect for you grow and grow. This series is adapted from David Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!
by David Chadwick I wish I'd been smarter in this area. If so, I could have avoided a lot of pain. I stupidly ignored this reality. If I could redo one major part of Marilynn's and my marital life together it would be this one. I'd trust her gut more. I'd honor her intuition. It's happened not once, but on multiple occasions. Marilynn sensed something was wrong. Her spiritual antenna was high. It was receiving strong signals. She sensed something unknown. There was an inward, environmental stimulus without any accompanying reason. It caused extreme tightness and discomfort in her stomach area. She couldn't explain why she undeniably sensed what she did, but she did. She just knew something wasn't right. Something was out of whack. Something bad was about to happen. Her gut was twisted and nervous. There was a foreboding something on the horizon. And she was saying to me that I just needed to trust her gut. Too often I ignored her suggestions and plowed ahead with what I needed to do and thought was best. I'd give a polite nod. Or sometimes I'd argue back, saying she didn't understand the full picture. Or sometimes I was totally dismissive and I'd say she simply needed to trust me. Looking back, I often ignored her instincts to my own eventual chagrin and demise. Fortunately, she has seldom poured on guilt by saying, "I told you so." She's been gracious when I've later acknowledged her wisdom and my folly. But on many occasions I've gone to her and simply said, "You were right. I was wrong. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you." If there is one positive thing that's come from these excruciating experiences, it's that I learned great humility. Again, I wish I'd been smarter. In this area, hindsight truly is 20/20. Some people call it women's intuition. Others refer to it as a gut instinct. I'm not exactly sure of the appropriate term. But I know it's true. Women have something inwardly that men don't have. They receive insights on situations men tend to ignore. Through the years, I've learned that Marilynn is on my side. Like God, she is for me (Romans 8:31). She wants the best for me. She wants me to succeed. She desires for me not to step into stuff that will hinder me. If this is so, I must trust her gut. This series is adapted from David Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!
by David Chadwick The word honor has become missing in action in the English vocabulary. Oh yes, sadly, we sometimes hear about an "honor killing." Most often, that's when a child rejects a certain faith tradition. The father feels he must kill the child for the sake of honor in his home. There is also "honor among thieves." They still seem to hold the word honor in high esteem. The Boy Scouts still begin their pledge with "On my honor, I will do my duty." Some schools still emphasize an honor code. But in reality, the word honor isn't much talked about today. The importance of the word honor has not been abated in the Bible. Children are to honor their mothers and fathers (Exodus 20:12). Rulers in the government (Romans 13:7) and the elders who preach, teach, and lead the church are to receive a double honor (1Timothy 5:17). Widows who serve others (1 Timothy 5:3) and friends who labor for us (Philippians 2:29) should also be given honor because of their personal importance in our lives. Christians are to honor one another, even above self (Romans 12:10). When Christians behave with honor, it should draw spiritual skeptics toward faith in God (1 Peter 2:12). And honor is supposed to be given by a husband to his wife (1 Peter 3:7). He is to honor her as one with enormous value. In this verse, Peter says that a wife is to be treated as a "weaker vessel." I don't think this idea expresses inferiority at all. I believe Peter used this phrase to describe a fine, delicate piece of pottery, like porcelain. The wife is supposed to be like a priceless vase in her husband's hand. He is to treat her with great care and gentle esteem, tenderly showing to her the enormous value she holds in his life. What does the Bible mean when it tells us to honor our wives? Let me put it in a way our culture can understand. She is a trophy—a person dearly prized. She is the husband's ultimate, permanent trophy bride! When you look at your wife, you can't believe she is a part of your life. You consider it a high privilege to be married to her. You want others to know the value she has in your life. You are honored she is your wife. This series over the next two weeks is a bite-sized overview of a book I wrote called "Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife." My wife, Marilynn, just completed two weeks of a series entitled "Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband" after the book she wrote. We both are trying to recapture the significance and importance of this word honor—especially in the marriage relationship between a husband and a wife. Join us as we explore God's design for marriage. This series is adapted from David Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!
by Marilynn Chadwick I'm convinced the tone I set in our home by honoring David inspired our children to honor him and each other. It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it also feels incredibly good to honor someone else. We find that as we give honor, we get it back. But giving honor, especially in a world which has largely forgotten this concept, doesn't come easily. It takes practice. I've learned that home is a wonderful laboratory for cultivating honor. My hope is that the culture of honor we create will spill over into the culture around us. I believe our world today is thirsty for honor, as evidenced by a conversation I had some years ago. "I don't enjoy going to lunch with my work friends anymore," my young friend confided over coffee. "The conversation always turns into husband bashing," she added. Her own marriage wasn't perfect, she admitted. "I'm a very transparent person," she smiled. "So I try to be real. But I don't want to dishonor my husband. And I want my friends to know I truly love being married to him." As we talked, she came to the conclusion that it was okay for her to be honest with her friends about some of her own marriage struggles. She could share a few of the positive ways she and her husband have discovered to work through their issues. But she resolved to do this in a manner that would honor both Christ and her husband. I loved my friend's heart for her husband and for the Lord. I felt sure she would be a winsome witness to her friends about what it means to have a godly marriage. And more importantly, what it means to follow Christ. That conversation was just one of many I had with women of all ages while writing Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. Even today, I still yearn to help wives reclaim the lost art of honoring their husbands. Perhaps it's time to take a fresh look at this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. "Those who honor me, I will honor" (1 Samuel 2:30). Then, let's explore practical ways to honor our husbands. Remember, the world is watching us. And deep down, I believe they're thirsty for honor—especially honor in marriage. This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!
by Marilynn Chadwick Honor is not a subject you hear much about these days. If anything, we've become much more accustomed to disrespect and dishonor. The urban slang for disrespect, or "dis," made its way into everyday language. Most any child can tell you what it means to "dis" someone. Or worse, to be "dissed." Honor. Simply put, the word means to treat someone with respect or admiration. It has to do with qualities like honesty, integrity and dignity. The biblical version of honor is much weightier. Even lofty. It speaks to the precious worth of the person being honored and is related to words like glory, worship or prize. Most of us yearn to be treated with respect. We benefit not only from receiving honor but also from giving it to others. God set the bar low so that even a child can show honor. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth" (Ephesians 6:2,3 NIV) (Exodus 20:12). You might call this the "the training wheels of honor." When children honor their earthly parents, they begin to grasp what it means to honor their heavenly Father. Perhaps it's time to recapture this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. But let's do so with a sense of expectancy. For God himself makes this bold promise: "Those who honor me, I will honor" (1 Samuel 2:30). This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!
by Marilynn Chadwick A young mom once asked me if there was anything I'd do differently if I were just starting out in my marriage. After giving it some thought, I responded that I'd be even more intentional about abiding in Christ. I've come to believe that abiding—developing an ongoing connection with the Lord—is the secret to lasting strength in marriage. A while back, my husband David made a comment that got me thinking. "I really like it that you're not needy," he said. "I can tell you're not looking to me for your identity." He went on to say, "Because of your relationship with the Lord, you come to our marriage with a full cup. I know you're not going to drain me dry." I'm intrigued that his comment sticks out in my mind all these years later. I've thought further about what he said. David knows my weaknesses better than anyone. He has walked me through more fears and more tears than I can count. And yet, he still considers me strong. Perhaps he sees strength in me that I don't even see in myself. The strength that comes from my relationship with Jesus. Abiding in Christ is not some magic pill you swallow and then, "Bam, you're in!" No, it's a daily process carved out with one foot in front of the other. Even on days I don't feel like it. Especially on days when I don't feel like it. Let's remember. Everything God created was good. But he looked at Adam and said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." Something was missing. So God said: "I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18 NIV). I've come to believe that in a very real way, the call to be a strong helper, or ezer, in my marriage is a call to a daily walk with Christ. It's saying yes when Jesus calls to me to follow him. Yes to honoring my husband. And yes to abiding. This series is adapted from Marilynn Chadwick's book, Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. To download your free PDF copy of the book, please visit our website by clicking here!
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